You're Weird... You're Weird You Are!

I Can Really Use A Wish Right Now

2010-06-11T00:52:00.001-07:00

Looking up to the night sky to see you there,
But you've all ready got company.
I don't seem to care who's around,
For I really need to speak with you now.

One wish I tell you
Two wishes follow behind
Three wishes I want to say
But my lips stopped me at the one.

I wish to see that smiling face.
I wish to hear that voice again.
These photographs do not compare to you being here.
I only have these two rings you used to wear.

And so there is
One wish I would tell you
Two more would follow close behind
Three I want to say
But you're so far away.

I carry those pieces of you with me now
It's not the same as having you here.

Twinkle, twinkle little...
One wish I want tell you
How I wonder...
Two more would come crashing through
Up above the world so high...
These three wishes look for you in the night sky.

I’m Always In This Twilight…

2010-01-14T00:40:00.001-08:00

I close my eyes to hear your voice once more. How I miss you so. I wonder where you have gone. How I wish I could follow you on your journey but I know I shall not. Within all these thoughts of you I think about the difference that I have had on the people’s lives around me.

Was I a positive influence on them? Did I ever bring them pain? Did I ever do something to anger them or to make them happy?

If I am remembered at all in this life I hope it is in a positive note. Each little thing we do in our lives has some kind of affect on someone else’s life. I strive to always make it a positive affect. But if I ever hurt someone then I truly apologize.

A friend of mine once told me, ‘There’s nothing on my end worth looking at.’ and I always meant to tell him how completely and utterly wrong he was. There is everything on his end worth looking at. The exterior matches his interior perfectly and he shouldn’t think otherwise. Not that he’d remember this conversation anyway; I just figured I’d say it now rather then never saying it at all.

I want to say one thing to my friends, I do love you. It doesn’t matter if I don’t know you that well. I would still be torn up inside without your presence as I would be with others I know better. You all have a profound affect in my life and any little piece that goes away takes that little piece with them. You are all unique and for that no one can take your place.

There are certain people who will always hold my heart whether they know it or not. Most likely they don’t know it.

This all may seem completely random but after reading a few books I felt that I should get these things out there. Have a lovely evening people. ☺

Mirror, Mirror

2009-11-12T23:18:00.001-08:00

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Whose fallen image do you befall?

Two green stained windows with
Hazel in the center do thee stare.
And gently do the soft black curtains
Cover with care.

Surrounded by rosy pale walls
Leading down to the gentle pink
Cushions at the end of the hall.

Thy auburn shadows sometimes pass
With gleaming beams of sunshine
That peak through the glass.

The windows and the cushions
Are much like a shell
For behind them are many stories that
They could tell.

If one is willing to look behind these
Windows and cushions shells
You may be surprised
By what you will entail.

All these things could be used to
Describe the image of me that you see.

And so oh mirror, mirror on the wall,
The image that you see before you
Is not really the image of me at all.

I Have To Let You Know…

2009-11-05T02:18:00.000-08:00

… I don’t want to let you go…

It has been quite a while since a song has affected me on a personal level. I bought the album Raditude by Weezer the other day and the song that I have pretty much had on repeat since I heard it was I Don’t Want To Let You Go.

It’s hard to explain exactly why this song struck a chord with me. Perhaps it was the honesty of the lyrics or the pretty melody. Perhaps it was the memories, thoughts, and images this song created that made me fall so in love with it. Or, it was a combination of it all.

One line that I love is “I have lost all hope of being normal once again.” It doesn’t sound like a very positive one but to me I took it as positive. Giving up on the fact that I will never be “normal” seemed like such a relief for me. Because, what is normal? I have never found a clear definition of the word that I have agreed with. So, to just be a non-normal person seems normal to me.

I love the lyrics to this song. When I listen to this song the memories that I haven’t thought about in ages came creeping back to my mind. Those are the things that I don’t want to let go of. The memories I had, the feelings I felt, everything. If I was a braver person I’d say many things that were in my mind or how I was feeling but I am not. For that I hold on to those things inside. Where I can keep them safe.

I know it isn’t right, but for me it is enough to admit things to myself first. One day I’ll let it all out with courage. But, for now it is for me.

If you all have the time you should check out the song. Here is a link to it:

Night!

I’m Just No Good For You

2008-11-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

An open letter to you.

Hi there,

By now you should be reading this letter while you play whatever random music you have playing at the moment.

Well, I wanted to let you know I did receive your letter you sent me. I am very flattered by what you have written but your perception of me is not real. Trying to find the words that won’t hurt your or even come off as rude is becoming more and more of a challenge as I write this to you.

There are a million things that I could list to prove your thoughts of me as false. But I will simply state that I am just no good for you. You deserve someone who you can depend on and who isn’t a flake such as I. You deserve to be with a man who has confidence in himself. You certainly could be with a much better looking man than myself.

I am not smart or talented or even funny. I really would be a terrible match for you. I don’t say these things to hurt you or to say that oh I don’t know. It is because I think the world of you that I think you could do much better than myself no matter how I felt. I won’t let you settle for the coal when you can get the diamond. I will just hold you back and I don’t want that for you.

I see great things for you and I don’t want to be the thing that keeps you from reaching greatness. So my friend will you please promise me you will continue on your quest for greatness? I know you will find that man whom you wrote about in that letter you sent me. Take care.

- The Coal.

This is just something that came to me as I was watching an interview with an actor. I am thinking of posting the response from the girl. We shall see. Enjoy!

Trying To Reach My Happy Place

2008-07-18T21:03:00.001-07:00

It doesn’t seem to be working too well at the moment.

All I want is to go to my happy place. A little place in my mind where everything is calm and quiet. A place where I can find clarity in the mess that I call my brain.

I try to drown out the TV. The screaming one year old. The all around chatter that is from the people in my household.

I put on my headphones and search for a song. Any song. Just one song that I can listen to that will drown out all of that mess.

First song. Not helping. I turn the volume up. Nope, didn’t help. I can still hear it all.

I need to get to my happy place. I need to reach it.

Next song, was a waste since it was mostly noise anyway.

I still hear the mess. I still feel like I am going insane. I turn the volume up four notches. Please get me to my happy place.

I found a song. Still isn’t loud enough though. I turn it up another five notches. The music is pounding on my eardrums. I close my eyes and press the headphones harder against my ears. I will reach my happy place.

I am venturing into this world of mine where I am free. I have no responsibilities. I have no worries. All I hear is my song. The song that is aiding me on my quest to find my happy place. It doesn’t matter if the volume is too loud. I like it loud.

Each note that hits my ears is a pleasure. I can breathe. I am reaching that grassy field in the sun and I am reaching clarity. I need to reach my happy place.

I can feel the sun. I just need to go a little further. I don’t care how much the volume hurts I just want everything to go away. I just want to be in my happy place.

No more tears. No more yells. No more fits. No more anything. JUST PEACE!

I sit and endure the pain until I reach my happy place.

Ahh, Swedish Films

2008-07-02T14:10:00.000-07:00

La Film Festival Recap – Day 4: Last Day

Day 4 – Theatre shift at the Billy Wilder Theatre – Film: You, The Living

So the day had it’s fair share of hits and misses on my way to the film festival. I left early so I can go to work to pick up my check so I could cash it. Only to realize that I had left my bus schedule on the dining room table. Luckily my sister would meet me on the bus to give it to me.

Like the past couple of days before I had arrived in Westwood a couple of hours early. This time I couldn’t stop at The Corner Bakery Café. I had to scout for an easy location my grandfather could pick my up from. Soon, I remember parking lot 36 from the Kodak Speed Dating day. I told him where to pick me up and I decided to check out the local art exhibit that was ending that week.

The exhibit was on Shinjo Ito’s work. It had all of his sculptures, photographs and other works. It was a free exhibit and when I walked in they gave me a free gift. It was kind of warm inside but the work was very lovely. They had this book were guests could sign their name, draw or write a message. I wrote a small message and took advantage of the other colors that were available and drew a little smiley face.

I still had some time before I had to go start my shift over at the Billy Wilder Theatre. So I went to this local Italian Ice Cream shop. I got a cup of Tiramisu flavored gelato. It was amazing to feel the cold slide down my throat. I was instantly chilled and I decided to read up on the other facts that were on other ice creams from the flyer in front of me. I also decided to see what my gift was that I had got at the art exhibit. It was a pendent like thing. It had a star, two circles and a white piece with Shinjo Ito’s signature on it. It really is quite lovely and I have it on my work badge now.

Once I finished my treat I decided to walk around the now busy Westwood. It was definitely different than what I had initially experienced the day before. It wasn’t quite as pleasant. With all the honking and stuff it took away from the quaintness of it all.

Before I knew it, it was time to go start my shift. I arrive and wait for a bit before my shift manager, Danielle, arrives. Only one other scheduled volunteer showed up. It wasn’t very long before two more showed up that were sent from other locations. We helped manage the lines and this time my job duty was to pass out the voting ballot to the people.

What I liked about this last shift was that I actually got to watch the film itself. It is pretty random but I found myself laughing and I was glad that I got to watch at least one film from the festival.

After the film let out I helped collect and count the tickets and ballots. I had to stay a little bit over my time because well, only one person from the next shift showed up and there was no one else to cover for me. Once someone showed up I was allowed to leave and not too long after that I met up with my grandfather.

So ends my LA Film Fest adventure. I am sure I will be volunteering again next year. It was a very pleasant experience and I liked meeting all the new people I came across. Thank you all for reading. ☺

So I Waited…

2008-07-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

LA Film Festival Recap – Day 3

Day 3 – Shift at the Volunteer Booth at the corner of Kinross and Broxton

It was another early day to start at the festival. So naturally I was in Westwood entirely too early like the day before. Only since, I have discovered the Corner Bakery I had some place to rest and have a nice breakfast. The only problem was I now had an extra half hour and since I was done with my food I decided to take a stroll around Westwood in this early hour.

The shops were starting to open and the way the sunlight hit the windows reminded me of some place I was in a dream I had in the distant path. It felt peaceful; it was like I was walking somewhere close to home. I was alone but not really alone. People were around me but I was alone in my thoughts.

One thought was, “I would like to live here one day.” It really was that lovely. As busy as Westwood is, in the morning it feels like a small town in the middle of nowhere. Everyone is pleasant and the shops are quaint. I realized that I had walked entirely too fast and I still had some time before my shift was to start. So another stroll around the block it was. Once I found it to be early enough to head over to the booth I found that no one was there yet. The booth was completely closed.

I sit on a near by bench and I read a festival guide that someone has left behind. Once I had read that through I just sat there waiting. I waited, and waited and waited. My shift was supposed to start at 9:30AM but no one was there. I got tired of sitting so I went to stand by the booth hoping that someone would arrive.

It was just after 10AM when Nancy and Tracy finally showed up. They apologized for being late. Soon after that I had to follow Nancy back to the office to help her bring back some things to the booth. On the way there she asked me how I was enjoying the festival so far. I told her I really enjoyed the theatre shift but when it came to the Kodak Speed Dating I didn’t like that as much. The look and her face was that of an “Uh Oh..” she said “Well, you may have to go there again today. They are short on volunteers.” I screamed in my mind. I begged and pleaded with her hoping that my vibrations would some how reach her and change her mind about sending me back to the dreaded Kodak Speed Dating.

Once we finished with the office stuff we had to walk back to the now dreaded Target Red Room. Once we were inside we were informed that I was no longer needed. I am not sorry to say that I let out a huge sigh of relief. Soon I was back at the volunteer booth getting the rundown of how things were done there. From then on I mostly just sat and looked at the festival guide and answered questions for people.

I only got to leave the booth twice. The first time was to go to the office to pick up some more badges for the booth. The second time I was to help out on transportation pick up. I soon met my companion for the ride, Anderson. We were driving to LAX to pick up a filmmaker. He is originally from England and he was quite amusing. I learned that he was an acting couch that specializes in children. The song “No Air” by Jordin Sparks came on the radio. Anderson commented, “This song was nice the first thousand times I have heard it.” and I responded, “Funny, I’ve never heard it before.” He looked very surprised. He then said “It has been playing non-stop since it hit the radio. I swear every other song they play it.”

Soon we reached LAX but we arrived at the wrong terminal. Once we found the correct terminal it felt like a wild goose hunt trying to find Virgin America’s arrival board. When I finally reached it I saw that the filmmakers flight had been delayed. With a quick phone call to Anderson he told me to then wait by the doors where the passengers would be walking out. It was 1:17PM and I really had to use the bathroom so I ran to use the bathroom all the while praying that I hadn’t missed the filmmaker.

I then stood by the doors for over a half hour before the filmmaker arrived. He was very friendly and he apologized for having me wait for so long. We then took him to his hotel and Anderson dropped me off at the ticket office and we said our goodbyes. And so that ends my third day at the festival!

I Thought This Was Speed Dating…

2008-06-30T20:36:00.001-07:00

LA Film Festival Recap – Day 2

Day 2 – Kodak Speed Dating in the Target Red Room

That day was started off on an early note. I had to arise at 4 AM to get ready to leave around 5:27 AM with my mother. My shift for the festival starts at 9 AM and to even make it there on time I would have to leave a few hours before hand. I would end up arriving to my destination two hours early.

Great you say? No. Horrible I say! Have you been in Westwood at 7 AM? There is absolutely nothing to do that early! But, luckily for me I discovered The Corner Bakery Café. It was a delightful little escape to sit down and wait for my shift to start. I wasn’t feeling particularly hungry that day. So, I just ordered some orange juice and an orange cranberry scone. I was served fairly quick and I decided to sit at a table outside. It was much cooler this particular morning and the cool air was refreshing. I opened my little baggy and to my surprise my scone was actually warm.

This was a great start of a day for me. Now why is a warm scone a great start? Well, it’s those little things that just warm you up. Hence, the warm scone, I have become accustomed to stale or just cold scones that I forgot what joy a warm bakery good could bring. Needless to say it was delicious and I had planned on returning for lunch before I went home.

I went in 15 minutes early like I was instructed to. Only, there really wasn’t anything for me to do. There was only one other volunteer there as well. She was already busy straightening things up and I was pretty much obsolete at that point. So, I found some post cards to straighten up that took up a total of 5 seconds. The other volunteer’s name was Roxanne and she was a delightful lady. We spoke about our experience at the festival so far and such. I learned that she is a resident of Westwood and she seemed pretty proud of her city. It was nice to see someone take the time to do what he or she can for his or her city. She told me about this art exhibit that was across the street. You’ll hear more about that in a later post.

Soon our shift manager, Molly, arrives. I get assigned parking duty. I took a stand, sign and an envelope full of parking passes to parking lot 36. My job required me to stand by the sign and wait for ten film executives to arrive so I could give them their parking passes and to answer any questions that they would have about the festival. Note that the time I started that job was 9:40 AM.

9:45AM – The sign fell due to the breeze and I pick it up.

9:48AM – Two executives arrive and I give them their passes.

9:52AM – The sign falls again.

10:00AM – Staring off into the distance and UCLA students flash me their parking permits.

10:02AM – Sign falls again. I move sign from original spot to another spot without a breeze.

10:10AM – More UCLA Students and one person asking about the police department parking lot.

10:15AM – Another film executive shows up.

10:17AM – I stop the sign from falling again

10:20AM – I get a call from Seth from the Volunteer booth informing me of the next day’s shift.

10:22AM – Again, I stop the sign from falling and I move it once more.

10:35AM – Another film executive arrives.

10:40AM – The last film executive arrives.

10:41 – 11AM – I fight with the sign and I get a call from Jane to come back to the Target Red Room. FREEDOM!

I walk back to the Red Room expecting there to be a lot of stuff happening. I imagined they would have me doing a lot of little activities and such. No, I arrive and my next job required me to stand around until Jane gave out the two-minute warning. Which, I would then hold two fingers up and walk to all the ten tables and inform the people they have two minutes to finish their conversations. Can you say it any clearer? B-O-R-I-N-G!

So, to all of you in the dark, The Kodak Speed Dating event was 10 film executives talking to 10 filmmakers about their films and such. Basically they were all pitching their films. Which was sort of interesting if it weren’t for the fact that if one of them got the slightest hint that you were listening they would start to get paranoid. One thing that I learned was whenever the day should come for me to pitch a script I need to be confident. I loved how they were all pretty relaxed and looked as if they were just having a normal conversation with the executives. The day I worked on was Documentary day. So. It was all documentary filmmakers in the room.

Once that was all finished I got my second movie voucher and I was allowed to leave. As I promised myself I went back to the Corner Bakery Café and got my lunch and then headed home.

End of day 2!

Long Awaited...

2008-06-28T23:04:00.001-07:00

that photo does her no justice. you had to see her in person
LA Film Festival recap – Day 1

Hello there everyone. Some people have been asking me to write my post about my little experience volunteering for the LA Film Fest. Well here it is folks!!! It will be split though. Enjoy. :D

Day 1 – Theatre Shift at the Landmark Theatre – Film: Poker House

The day started out as good as it could be I guess. I catch all my busses on time and I get to my location an hour earlier. I am happy to be there so early when I realize that the next location that I have to go to pick up my volunteer shirt and badge is well over a mile away. The clock is set at 2pm and running. Destination: the corner of Broxton and Kinross. Time limit is to be one hour to and back. I start walking from the corner of Pico and Westwood.

I am heading down Westwood. As I am unsure if I am heading in the right direction I called my Aunt Linda to give me some directions. Turns out I am heading in the right direction. I walk for what seems likes forever. I walk uphill and I walk across long crosswalks. I walk past slow walkers and bypass kids selling candy. I finally make it to my destination. I check the time, 2:43pm; there is no way I am going to make it back to the Landmark by 3pm.

I pick up my t-shirt and my badge. Then next thing I know I have to get my photo taken. Great, I am sweaty, read and hot and now I have to take a photo. I write my first and last name in large print on a blue paper and stand in the sun a smirk for the camera. I see that one of the volunteer managers, Shelly to be precise, is also at the booth. So, I say to her “Shelly, I just wanted to let you know I am going to be late for my shift at the Landmark. I had to walk from there to here to get my shirt and my badge.” Her eyes widen and she responds “You walked from the landmark to here?” and I say, “Yes.” She soon puts stars next to my name as a reward for my effort and she informs me that she will call ahead and let the people know I would be late.

I start my journey back to the landmark. I see a Big Blue Bus and I decided to ask if they stopped at Pico. Which they did, so I paid my 75 cents and put on my shirt and badge. I am cooled and relieved that I will not be late like I had originally thought. I reach my stop and off the bus I go.

I walk into the theatre and I ask an associate if he could please inform me the location of John Olivas or Kent, my shift managers. He says, “I don’t know who they are. You should go to concierge maybe they could walkie them” I walk over to the concierge and the guy there tells me, “I have no idea where those guys are. They are around here some where.” Gee, thanks.. Ass.. So I wander around to the third floor where I meet up with Kent. There is only one other volunteer there, Sarah is her name, and he tells me to relax and wait for the others to arrive. He gives me a bottle of water and I sit on the nice little cushioned bench.

Not too much longer Sarah sits down beside me and we start chatting about films and such. She is quite a lovely woman. She is very friendly and funny. Soon the other volunteers arrive and we get assigned our jobs. I am to be the ticket taker for this event. As we wait in our positions I see the lovely Lori Petty walk out of the theatre. She directed the film, Poker House, and she had just gone over some technical stuff. She passes by me and says hello. I say hello back and I was surprised at how calm I was. I was pretty proud of my composure.

People start arriving and I take their tickets. There is nothing too exciting to report on there, sorry. The film starts and then Lori comes out visibly upset because the screen has gone black. The tech people are scurrying to fix the problem. I would love to say that was the end of it but sadly, the film went black two more times. Lori is very upset, as she should be. The theatre is sold out and they are sitting in there watching a black screen.

What people don’t realize or would call a hissy fit from directors is that their films are their babies. All the work they put in to making, producing, editing and everything else that comes along with it is a lot of hard work. It has to become their baby and for your film to keep stopping and blacking out like that. Well, it is pretty bad. So what some people would consider a bad thing I saw as understandable. I would have done the same thing as Lori.

Back to the day; well, after they finally got the film to play we counted the tickets and we were told to take a break. After a quick walk around the mall we arrive to see the next shift of volunteers arrive and John decides to let us off early. So ends my volunteer shift of day one!

All in all it was pretty eventful and I got to meet some great people.

Memories

2008-06-14T23:11:00.001-07:00

The things that you would like to forget always find a way of popping up.

I was sitting at the bus stop today and as I was staring off into the distance a thought came to me that I hadn’t wanted to think about. The thought was one of the many images of my grandmother lying in her hospital bed dying. Even now the thought makes me want to cry.

I try so hard to remember my grandmother the way she used to be. I have no idea if it is because these are the most recent or what but the thoughts that I don’t want of her seem to make themselves present all the more.

The things I see are like this:

It is a cold and dark hospital room. My grandmother is lying there struggling to breathe. She has one of those air tubes in her nose and at times when her breathing was really bad they would put an oxygen mask on her. She is surrounded by all of her children. Her four daughters and her only son. There right by her side is my grandfather. There are so many people that all the chairs have been taken. My sisters and myself sit on the floor. I hate how I remember this. I hate how I saw her try so hard to live only for her to die. I hated seeing her scared. If she was scared then how will I be when my time comes?

I know everyone has his or her time but I just fear the unknown of it all. This year was rough enough as it is and the fact that these thoughts keep coming back to my mind angers me more. I want to remember the times she was happy. I want to remember her loud and contagious laugh. I want to be able to hear her walking down the hall again. The simplest childhood memories are starting to fade. I fear that I will not remember all of those things that made my grandmother who she was. That thought saddens me because I know those childhood memories would be an immense comfort to me.

I guess one thing that I want the most is to know if she was proud of me. I was never really home that much because I was either at school of at work. I’d like to thing she was proud of me. I was the first grandchild to graduate college. Would she be proud of me now? Who knows? The time has come to end this and prepare myself for work. Another three days of standing and scanning.

**Note** this was written on Friday in my notebook.

Upcoming Events

2008-06-14T22:55:00.001-07:00

An update

Hello to you all, I have finally set aside some time for myself to write a proper update. How exciting ehh?

As I have mentioned before I was waiting for my volunteer schedule for the Los Angeles Film Festival. I had received my schedule on the 10th. I will be working at the festival June 23rd – June 26th.

My first day will be a theatre shift. What is a theatre shift? Well, basically my job duties will be to help manage the lines, take tickets and ushering. I will be at the Landmark 8 theatre at 3 pm – 6:15 pm. I actually don’t know what film I will be helping to be shown but I am sure it will be a good one.

My second day I will be working in the Target Red Room. I am not sure what my job duties will entail but it has something to do with the Kodak Speed Dating. No I will not be a participant. I will be helping in some way. I think it is more of a networking type of thing rather than actual dating. If I remember how they described it at the volunteer meeting correctly. We shall see what it is when I work it. The time I will be there is 9 am – 1 pm.

My third day will consist of helping in the volunteer booth. I will be handing out t-shirts and badges to other volunteers and give general information to the public. Shift will be at 9:30am – 2:30 pm.

Last and certainly not least will be another theatre shift. It will be at the Billy Wilder Theatre from 3 pm – 7 pm. Again no idea what film will be shown so… Yeah… Haha.

So during that week and a couple of weeks after that my aunt will have her kids in Sacramento. So I will not be baby-sitting for a while. I have no idea what I will do but I hope it to be productive. One thing is for sure, I will be regaining back a lot of sleep that I have lost. No I won’t be sleeping in until noon. The latest will be 10 am to 10:30am. Any later and I feel I am sleeping the day away. I am not a fan of that.

I think another thing that will be done will be some more writing. Whether it is from my on going story or a new story all together. I think that alone time is out because well, my other cousins will be out of school for the summer and therefore I will have no alone time.

Another thing that is coming up is my 22nd birthday. I really don’t know what I am going to do for my birthday. I never know what to day actually. The sad thing is that I would like to do something but… I just don’t know what to do. Such a pain. I don’t drink or go out to clubs. So, what else is there for me to do? Hmmm… Well, that is all that I coming up for me. Have a good one!

The Mirror

2008-05-06T21:52:00.000-07:00

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

I look in the mirror and what do I see looking back at me? I see a tired young lady who is aging more than she should. The pretty hazel/green eyes are slightly tarnished by the red that surrounds and mixes with the white. My skin is pale from the lack of sun.

Hair is out of place and my lips are slightly chapped. My clothes out of shape and wrinkled. There are small scraps and bruses on my skin. There are scuffmarks on my body and my skin is still tender to the touch from the feet that step all over me.

My scabbed and scrapped up hand brushes my sleeve. I wipe off the mixture of dirt and dust. I pull on my shirt to lessen the wrinkles. Nurse my wounds and I take a look at my face again in the mirror.

Through out it all I look over my scuffmarks tear stains, and dried up blood I see the green shining through my eyes. I look down towards my lips and apply some beeswax. I love that peppermint tingly feeling. They are smooth and are rushing full of color once again. I lightly brush at the scuffmarks on my face. It’s that smirk on my face that lets me know that people are in for a change and it is quite exciting.

Running on…

2008-04-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

… 2 hours of sleep.

I must admit I did go to sleep a bit late last night. But, normally I will just fall right asleep and I get a good amount of rest. Not the case last night. I lie down and close my eyes but I do not drift off into dreamland. No, I am awake. I switch positions many times and yet I don’t fall into a slumber once! This continues until around 6AM this morning when I finally drift off only to wake up at 8AM to get ready for work at 9AM. Being a cashier can be pretty tiring on busy days but try being a cashier running on 2 hours of sleep. It is even more tiring. To top it off it was too hot for comfort today. Even in an air-conditioned store you could feel the heat radiating from the outside. At one point I saw a blond woman walk in only her skin wasn’t a fair skinned like she should be. She was red as a beet all over. From her head and probably to her toes she was red! It hurt just looking at her. Now I am going to finish this paragraph of a post to try and create something a bit more constructive or at least interesting.

What Will Your Soul Mate Be Like?

2008-04-08T02:24:00.000-07:00

My results in a quiz I took.

Your soul mate will be your best friend. You will have so much fun with them every day.

Your soul mate will always know how to cheer you up with their sense of humor.

Whenever things get tough, your soul mate will encourage you to excel.

In your life together, your soul mate will help you to become more involved in the world.

Your soul mate will love you because you are a funny and unique person who can always see the humor in things.

Since according to the quiz this is how my soul mate will be I think I should write an open letter to my future beloved.

To my dear sweet love,

I sit here listening to the sweet melodies of The Bravery. You may or may not have heard of this band. If not I am sure I will introduce them to you at some point. I want to write you this letter because I think this would be very amusing to show you one day.

I look forward to the many fun days we shall have together. I am sure you will have a brilliant smile and just that alone will make me smile. A day without a smile is a day wasted and I know I will have no wasted days when I am with you.

I look forward to you cheering me up with your sense of humor. I love to laugh and what could be better than laughing with someone whom you love so dearly?

I very much want you to encourage me to excel in the future. At times I long for your encouragement, even now.

To be more involved with the world with you would make all my days shine.

I have no idea if I have all ready met you and fallen for you but I am just too shy to say so or I am otherwise not able to admit my feelings towards you because it would be highly inappropriate. If either be the case I am glad I am with you now. The wait may have been excruciating but it was well worth it in the end.

You may or may not have an English accent or any accent of that matter. I love you just the same. But, if you do have an accent, add that to the list of the many reasons why I love you. If you do or do not wear glasses, my heart will still skip a beat when I see you. If you do wear spectacles, I am ever so glad to look into your eyes.

I do not know you yet but I am sure you will be everything that I hoped for and more. A loving, caring and beautiful man. You may not know this but when I am around you I don’t know what to say. Once you make me feel at ease the words seem to come. I long to walk in my beloved rain with you. I want to rest my head against you to hear your heart beat. I want to be safe in your arms.

To take a line from the well-known author, Jane Austin, I love you, most ardently. I will love you long after I take my final breath. I will love you forever and always. You mean everything to me and not matter how long I have to wait for you it will make my love grow that much stronger. I hope you are warm and safe wherever you are. May you never have to bear the weight of gloomy days. You deserve nothing but the best in this world. Goodnight my love. Thank you for reading this and I hope it brought that beautiful smile of yours out. Sleep sweet and take care. 143.

- Geneva

143

2008-03-11T21:50:00.001-07:00

What this number has to do with Mr. Rogers and myself.

One morning as I was baby-sitting my young cousins and we were enjoying a lovely episode of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I was a little preoccupied with fixing the babies their snack so when I saw Lady Aberlin was talking with Daniel the Tiger and he was showing her this plaque with the number 143 on it. I had thought it was an address or something and then the episode ended and I had completely missed what 143 the number missed. Luckily for me I have Direct TV with DVR so off I went to rewind. Much to the disapproval from my cousin Noah. Once I get to the part where the number finally gets it’s explanation of its meaning.

The meaning is a very sweet one. It means ‘I Love You.’ Where did they get ‘I love you’ from that number? Well, the numbers represent the amount of numbers in each word.
1 – I = 1 Letter
4 – L-O-V-E = 4 Letters
3 – Y-O-U = 3 Letters

I thought that was the sweetest thing I have ever heard in a long time. A while after that I decided to google 143 and Mr. Rogers. I came to find out that the number had a special meaning to the man. He also kept his weight at 143 all the way up until his death. Now, I have taken that number for myself. I hope that one day I could actually tell someone ‘143.’ Also, since I am starting my little diet journey I hope to get my weight down to 143 lbs. 1.) Because it would be within the weight I am supposed to be at. 2.) Like Mr. Rogers I really like the meaning of that number. And lastly but certainly not the least it is because I think with that goal I can actually love myself a lot more than I actually do.

Ah, the power and meaning of a simple number.

It's Time To Surrender

2008-03-10T23:14:00.001-07:00

- Name 20 things you'll never ever say to anyone.
- Don't use names.
- Don't speak of this with anyone after you've written this.

01. I miss you deeply and I wish you were still here.

02. I miss the conversations that we used to have. I just miss being around you period.

03. After months of not having a thought about you in my mind you have some how ventured back into it. I hate that I miss you and I hate that I want to get to know you more. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if you did touch my hand.

04. I wish that this was some kind of alternate universe or a different period in time so that maybe I could see what would happen between us.

05. Apart of me will always care for you and will always be sad that things couldn't have worked out between us.

06. You and I used to be so close, what happened?

07. I miss you more than you know and I hope to see you again.

08. I truly and honestly love talking with you. You bring out my honesty more than anyone else.

09. You are so sweet and I wish we lived closer so we could visit more.

10. I love how you smile at me but at the same time I wished I didn't get so much pleasure from it.

11. You make me feel like I am loosing my sanity but I would still die for you.

12. This isn't a secret, I hate you and I tell you that daily.

13. I feel that there is something that is bothering you but you keep up this act that you are ok and I am afraid to bring it up to you.

14. I love you and I hate that we don't see each other that much anymore even though we live in the same household.

15. I can't wait to see you again because then things can get started where they left off.

16. I am glad to have met you. You are just the best person to know and to be around.

17. You make me smile daily and it is great.

18. You never cease to amuse me.

19. You are a little shit and I don't appreciate how you treat me or the others around you. Grow up!

20. We haven't spoken in a very long time but I just wanted to say I thought you were one of the most gorgeous boys in school and when you and I spoke it was a treasure.

Rainy Monday

2008-03-04T02:08:00.000-08:00

You left this feeling here inside me.

She fell in love again. She fell completely and utterly in love all over again. His voice lingered in her mind. His face was so beautiful that no words can do it justice. His blue eyes shimmered with every glimpse of light. The final words she heard him speak were, “Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy…” The credits came up on the screen and she sighs and wishes for her own Mr. Darcy.

When the sun came up the next day the smile on her face shined despite the clouds outside. Thoughts of Mr. Darcy brightened up her mood. She danced and sang at work and smiled more than usual. Then he walked by, the one person who makes the day even better. Her smile grows and now she is glowing. She is floating on air and she is enjoying every moment of it.

Outside in her backyard she stands with her head held high and her hands held out. She closes her eyes and takes in the cold air. Icy drops of water hit her skin and her smile grows wide. She laughs and twirls around. Each drop takes her hand and she dances with the rain. She splashes into the puddles and takes in each and every drop. She is happy. She is honestly and truly happy for the first time in a very long time.

Her backyard grows into something from her past. The concrete turns to grass and the grass turns into a pool. She was no longer a woman but a child. Sneaking outside in her childhood home and dancing in the rain. She wraps her arms around herself as she spins and returns back to her present home. She hops over to the door and turns to take one last look at the rain. Just as the day began, so it ends with a smile.

------------------
Headline and headline are from the song Rainy Monday by the band Shiny Toy Guns

The Cherry Blossom

2008-02-15T01:29:00.001-08:00

I have finally found my favorite flower.

I was online speaking with someone who I have been getting to know over the past few months. I have written about him once before here but I have never mentioned his name. So I won’t. I will however call him the Blue Rose.

So I was speaking with the Blue Rose and he was telling me how he wants to look up how to send a message with flowers. That moved on to him asking me what my favorite flower was. All I could tell him was ‘you know what? I have been asking myself that for years now.’ So, I think about it and I decide to say White Cherry Blossoms because I think they are really pretty and my friends Ky and Kate gave me a lotion and body spray set of White Cherry Blossoms and it is one of the prettiest scents I have ever had the pleasure of smelling.

As we continued to chat I decided to look up the meaning of the flower and based on it’s meaning I have found myself a favorite flower. What is the meaning you ask? It is simple:

‘The cherry blossom was considered an especially beautiful and important symbol for Japanese samurai because at the height of its beauty it would inevitably fall to the ground to die. Samurai also had to be willing to sacrifice themselves in their prime, and the cherry blossom was evidence that this is the natural way of things and could even be beautiful and pure. Life is as delicate and light as the falling petals, and there is a natural time for all beautiful things to end. The samurai strove to understand the nature of life and death by meditating on the blossom of the cherry tree. This peace was tempered by the inner strength, power, and fighting spirit represented by the circle of red. Through the study of attack and defense in Judo we learn to harmonize our spirit and body, learning to both fight hard and let go softly.’ - http://www.judoinfo.com/kdk.htm

I just put the whole thing because I couldn’t have said it better myself. Every time I try to explain the meaning I mess up. But that just explains it all right there. It has given me a whole new look on things. I’d like to think that it would inspire me to do a lot more with my life.

So there you have it. The cherry blossom, its beauty and grace is something that I would like to compare myself to. To soon see the beauty in myself and well as my grace. One should always have a favorite flower. You never know what it may mean or what it may have in store for you.

Confessions Of A Cashier Pt. 2

2008-02-11T01:10:00.001-08:00

The events of today inspired me to make a second edition.

Some of you may have read my first Confessions. If not, you can now. Please, read that first before reading this one.

Ok, for those of you who have read the first one, here is my addition to the confessions.

I arrive at work to see the grocery side entrance surrounded by fire trucks and an ambulance. This was very surprising to me and so I hoped that nothing was seriously wrong at work. I walk in the other entrance and I hear someone shout out “GENEVA!” I turn and look to see one of the CSM’s calling me over. I rush over to her and I see her attention is to this elderly man. The next words I hear are ‘This man is having a heart attack.’ All of a sudden I became as stiff as a board. “He is what??” was all I could think.

The next thing I know the man is speaking about his medication. Turns out he left it in his car. The CSM is talking to the man and calls me closer. He starts to describe where his medication would be in his car. ‘It’s in the center console. It is nitroglycerine.’ I see him take out his keys and the next thing I know the CSM is telling him that I am going to be the one to get his medication for him. “I am what?” could she be serious? Can I handle that responsibility? I take the keys and after hearing his description I rush out the door to find his car.

Once I get to his car I press the security lock to make sure the alarm would not go off on me. There is nothing more awkward then going through some strangers car looking for medication. I open the center console, move the papers and I find: a toy car, dimes, and some golf thingies. What? No medication? But the man said it was there. I look again. And again. And again once more. Nothing. No pill bottle, nothing. I move on to the glove compartment. Nope, just the normal paperwork that is to be expected in the glove compartment. I look in the back seat and find nothing. I see a bag on the passenger front seat. This has to be it! Nope, nothing. How can this man be so sure his medications are in there if they are not! I lock up his car and I rush back inside. I see the paramedics surrounding him and I tell the assistant managers that I could not find his medications and I gave them his car keys. The paramedics assured me that they had everything under control.

Once that little debacle was taken care of I rushed to the back to clock in. After all that I had not even clocked in yet! I was a minute late. Damn it! I rush to the front end to see lines, long horrendous lines. I wanted to turn around and hide or even just run away. Once I reach the front there are no CSMs at the CSM podium. So I go and look for one. Right away one finds me and sticks me on a register. All I have to say about today is that that line I worked with didn’t end until after I clocked out from work. Why on earth was it so busy today? I have no clue and I can’t describe just how bad it was. It was just bad. The most interesting stuff happened as I showed up. My arms hurt and my hands are scraped up from working with the register. Yes folks, your merchandise does in fact inflict injury to us cashiers. The number of bruises, nicks and cuts I got this weekend are innumerable. Overall, this weekend the customers were not so bad and I thank thee. I am off to ice my wounds from today’s battle. Nighty night!

- Cashier Geneva

p.s. The reason the fire trucks were there originally was because a little boy had a seizure in the store.

The Nice Guy

2008-01-19T02:16:00.000-08:00

A little something about a really nice guy I once knew.

I have written about him in my It’s All In The Smile. He was my version of falling in love. He just came back into my thoughts again and I couldn’t help but wonder some things about him.

For six months straight he was in my life, half a year folks. He often spoke about how he was always taken advantage of because he was too nice. I saw how some people took advantage of just how lenient he was with them. He wasn’t a demanding guy; all he asked for was his students to do the work. The work was not difficult to say the least.

I loved going to his class because he always had some kind of life lesson to teach us. If wasn’t a life lesson it was a discussion of food. Eventually with all the talks of food we all got hungry. He was kind enough to go out and buy us drinks or food for us. He had a ton of different projects going on in his life and it really wore him out. But, he was working towards a dream that he had for himself and there is nothing to be ashamed of for that. The thought of just how hard he was working just makes me aspire to get to the point to where I am determined more than ever to work for my dream.

He knew some much about music and his own theories on different topics. When he would bring in his bass in class and play it for us, I was drawn in. I loved watching him play because I can see the passion flow right through him into the music. He was always very modest about his skill but I thought he was great.

He was the type of guy that just got along with everyone. It was very difficult not to get along with the man. As I have mentioned before, he has one amazing smile. The kind you just have to smile back to. He had a boyish nature to him. It was playful and full of life. It made you want to go back to having that energy and how the world was such a wonderful place. Going back on some old audio files I had for a project I did for his class I listen to him laugh. It is a sweet and very likeable laugh.

The times that we shared were we talked will forever be ingrained in my mind. I miss those times we would converse. I knew that after I left school that he would be someone that I would grow to miss more as time passed on. Six months of my life he made my day. For six months he made me smile and for each time we saw each other I have a memory that I can write about. I wonder where he is now, what is he up to? How is he doing? I wish him nothing but the best in the world because he truly deserves nothing but the best in this world.

I started to think about him again last night after I went to a book reading/signing. The author is from Pasadena, a place where he grew up, and one of her characters in the book she was reading from reminded me of him. Thanks to the man who enlightened not only my life but the lives of all his students that he has touched. I shall miss you always.

Introductions

2007-12-05T01:23:00.001-08:00

Getting to know someone new can be interesting…

My sisters first introduced me to you. I took a glance at your ‘About Me’ on the site. My lovely, darling sisters are sure you are the one for me.

I see you like to read, well I don’t think like quite describes it. You read quite a bit and I really like that. You travel, well what do you know? I have just started my interest in traveling. Maybe you and I can discuss what places I can visit. Everything that was written on that about me was something I liked. Finally when curiosity bit me I managed to see your photo and well it matches the words you have written completely.

The two things I notice first in people are the eyes and the smile. It’s important for me to get a feeling from those two things. Your eyes put me at ease and they show kindness. Your smile is warm and inviting, you give me no other option but to smile back.

You initiated the start of the communication, the very one my sisters wanted me to choose. You asked me five simple questions to which I answered. I sent you five simple questions that you answered. Guided communication, it’s a pretty safe way to move things forward. You now know my must haves and can’t stands and I know yours. Next came the three questions. I am slowly letting you get to know me and I getting to know you. Can we get past this guided communication thing now?

There is so much more I’d like to get to know. I cannot remember the last time I checked my e-mails so much to see if you responded. The three questions I sent, your answers were just divine. You showed you had humor and romance. I loved how you have goals and are passionate about them.

It was like a little celebration when we got to open communication. But, alas like the others before I await your response. Time isn’t going so fast anymore and I like that. Thank you for making me wait, thank you for making me take in the time. I hope all is well on your end and I do enjoy getting to know you more.

Rain

2007-11-30T22:11:00.000-08:00

You and I have much catching to do!

I miss your cool, gentle touch. Blowing sweet nothings into my ear and giving me fresh kisses. I long to take an extended stroll with you. Just to get lost in you and feel free again.

You make me feel ok. You wash away every thing that troubles me and you make me brand new. I have missed being comforted by you. I rarely get to see you except on the occasional visit you have with Thunder and Lightning, whom you know I dislike! Or you come out when I am simply not available. Have I done something to offend you?

Do you remember when we danced? I remember when you came to visit me on my way home from school. It was the last day of the quarter and to be quite honest, I was feeling pretty low. But, you came full swing and rinsed away my apprehensions. You were there for me when I needed you in Oklahoma and I thank you for that.

I finally got to have a small visit with you today. Though, our visit was entirely way too short. I can still smell you on my clothes and I do hope you stick around for a while. I need some cleansing from you. I miss you my friend. May we twirl or have a long walk together.

--------------------

Thanks riceflour for the inspiration to write this.

I Fainted...

2007-11-28T23:23:00.001-08:00

What a couple of days can do to a person.

Monday I started to feel stomach cramps and I noticed that I had the liquid poo syndrome, also known as Diarrhea. So, I ate a banana and took some Immodium.

After my baby cousins left I was now stuck lying on the couch because of the pain I was having in my stomach. I was watching the Santa Claus with my mother when I feel the sudden urge to gag. Gagging turned into vomiting and I threw up all of the contents that I had that day. Water and a banana, probably some stomach acid too but it didn’t burn coming out like it usually does. My mother made me some Ginger tea and I lied there falling in and out of sleep. My sister Janice and her boyfriend bought me a 20 oz bottle of 7-Up. That helped my stomach settle much better than the tea or water I had been drinking.

I ended up spending the night on the couch and not in my comfy bed. I started my shift in watching my baby cousins. It was a typical day only my legs hurt as well as my lower back, I blame the couch, and the continued nausea. I had not eaten anything and even when I made the babies their food I still did not eat. Later that day baby Becca decided that she no longer wanted in her playpen and she put her little legs over and went face first to the tile floor below. I rushed to her and picked her screaming body up. Her mouth was covered in blood and I went to the kitchen and started to wet paper towels to wipe away the blood. My sister Connie comes out of the room and once she sees the bloods around Becca’s mouth she starts freaking out. I am trying to hold Becca and get her to bite down on the paper towel and yet still keep my sister calm.

My arm is now tired from holding little Becca and I hand her off to Connie. My head suddenly becomes light and fuzzy. I feel out of breath and I grab on to the stove to catch my breath and then everything goes black. Apparently I fell into my sister and she grabbed me and I told her, “What are you doing, I am fine?” and I remember her saying something like “No you’re not!” and then, this is the fall I remember, I fell on my ass on the tile floor in the kitchen taking down my sister as she is hold poor baby Becca. At this point there is no claming down my sister and she is screaming bloody murder for my sister Janice to come out of the shower and to help her out. Now, I feel fine and I want to get up but Connie insists that I stay seated and she rushes to the bathroom with Becca in her arms and bangs on the door continuously screaming, “Janice get out here now! This is serious!” Once she and Janice have their share of words she comes back and gives me a piece of bread and a bottle of water. She calls our aunt and tries to get advice as to what to do next. She felt I was fine to get up and go to the couch she insisted I at least put one arm around her as I get moved back to the dreaded couch. Once my sister Janice gets out of the bathroom she insists I have to eat something and makes me soup. Her boyfriend comes and gets me another 20oz of 7-Up.

My aunt comes over and has a look at me and she says I looked fine but if I fainted again to see the doctor. Even if I faint a week later, and that she thinks the main reason why I fainted was cause of the stress of Becca screaming in my ear and seeing the blood. She explained to me what causes people to faint and things of that nature. Needless to say my family made sure I ate that day.

Then comes today, I decided that last night I would sleep in my own bed and not on that damned couch. Only to wake at 4am coughing my brains out because I was congested in my chest once more. Not only was I waking up Connie, but also my stomach was not getting upset so I decide to move back to the couch. My mother thinks I have developed an allergy to Connie’s cat. She suggests I try one more night on the couch. All day my stomach felt tight but I made sure to eat something and my sisters made sure I ate as well. Now, this evening my throat is really bugging me and my voice is scratchy. So Janice made me some tea. This is what being sick has caused me over the course of three days. If it’s not one thing it is another.

So, that is the reason why I haven’t been writing lately and once I get the time to not be sick I will continue with my little vampire series. Evening all!

Don’t Try To Fix Me I’m Not Broken

2007-11-16T00:14:00.000-08:00

That is mostly true.

Have you ever heard a song that just brings out all kinds of emotions? Well, for me at the moment that song is Hello by the band Evanescence.

I was looking through an old hard-drive of mine and I was listening to the songs that were on there and I came across that song and it brought back a lot of memories and now it pretty much fits with my current emotions.

When I first listened to this song I was writing a feature screenplay for school. The overall tone of the story was dark and depressing and I needed some sad music to get me to that place. For me that song was one of many songs that hit the spot. It helped me accomplish my goal of writing the script. I didn’t actually have anything really to be depressed about.

Now that I am listening to the song again about two years or so later, I have something to feel depressed about. With the holidays coming up they don’t seem to be as jolly as they once were. I myself am getting tired of the rush of emotions that I go through. One moment I am fine and then the next the simple thought or memory can spark my mood to do a sudden change and then I wipe away tears. But, honestly you have you let the emotions do their things. If you try and bottle them up they will be released somehow and I really think it’s not good to hold them in. So as much as I am frustrated with them I just have to let them take their course.

There is one line in the song that I think will pretty much fit how I will be over the holidays and such. The line is “If I smile and don’t believe.” The amount of forced smiles I will be doing just describes it perfectly. I think that will be all for now. Take care people!

P.S. Chelle, I went to Disneyland on Tuesday and I told my friend about how you killed Pooh and every time we saw Pooh there we just laughed. It was one of the things that made our day so fun. Thanks for sharing that story again!

Words From A Writer

2007-11-13T08:25:00.001-08:00

What I seem to have taken for granted.

Yesterday when I started talking to that writer on the train he asked my mother and I what we did, meaning profession. I of course said, “Aspiring screenwriter.” with a smile. He smiled and said “Good luck! Just keep working at it. Never give up.” He spoke to my mom about her job at the county and when he found out that she was my mother the tone changed a little. He said, “That’s good you support her. Never stop supporting her. There are a lot of people out there that won’t support others when they say they want to be a writer. When they find out they say ‘don’t do that, you won’t go anywhere.’ So keep supporting her.” Shortly after that he found his stop and left.

Those words stuck with me. I really have taken for granted that I have the amount of supporters in my life. A part of me always assumed that the people you care for most would support you in your life choices. And in reality there are a lot of people who would say otherwise. I am so unbelievably lucky that I have people that support me and I will always be forever grateful for them.

Like I said, speaking to the writer yesterday made the day worth it. Seeing that smile on his face knowing that we are out there supporting him made what they were fighting for all the more worth it. I don’t think he will ever know it but that writer did more than give me advice yesterday. I honestly he’s made me a better person and for that I thank you. May you get all that you hope for and more. I am honored to have met you.

My 1st Attempt To Picket

2007-11-12T19:00:00.001-08:00

What happened on this odd day.

I woke up a tad late this morning but I still managed to wake my sister up so she can get ready for work. I had planned on leaving for the bus with my mother at about 10am. We just had to wait for my aunt’s fiancé to come and drop off my mother’s bus pass and pick up my aunt’s car keys. He came shortly before ten and we left shortly after that. Because of all the waiting busses make you do we arrived at Universal Studios around 12:30pm.

We see the picketers across the street and I hear the cars drive by honking their horns. One after the other a honk here and a honk there and a honk, honk everywhere. Normally when I hear cars honking I get the sudden burst of anger and I’d like to shout out at the top of my lung. Not today, today I got the sense of honor. They were honking for my people, they were honking for the very people I honor and respect. If a simple little honk made me feel pretty darn good, and I wasn’t even picketing yet, can you imagine how the actual picketers felt? It is a certain boost of moral and it always a joy to know that there are people out there who understand and support you and your cause.

My mother and I cross the street to the picketers and we ask how we could go about getting a sign because we were offering our services. Unfortunately all the signs were being used and there really was not much else to do. They thanked us for our support so my mother and I crossed the street again to try and figure something else. We could have just kept walking back and for across the street with the picketers, but for some reason without a sign it would have looked odd to me. The sudden wave or helplessness and being un-useful came over me and I felt just terrible for dragging my mother all the way down there when she could have been in bed resting. My mother decided we should go to city walk, eat some lunch and check back. By the time we finished lunch the shift for the picketers was coming to a close.

As we waited to cross the street I over-hear one of the picketers shout “Go Jaguars!! WOOO AHHHH!” and I smile because I know who the Jaguars are! They are a strike team that the screenwriter, John August, discussed in his blog. I suddenly felt giddy again but then as we left I still felt distressed that I couldn’t do more for them. I didn’t have enough money to buy them all food nor anything to drink. So I was basically useless.

My mother and I got on to the train and headed home. Much to our surprise one of the writer’s that was picketing stood by us. We told him that we supported him and the other writers and the smile that was on his face made the day worth it. He thanked us for our support. We discussed the strike a little and I was informed that there was going to be another rally on Hollywood Blvd next Tuesday. All the unions are supposed to meet up so hopefully this gets them the much-needed attention that they deserve. I was also informed of how to get into the WGA. For those of your writers who are curious, you have to sell one feature length script or sell three thirty-minute episodes for a TV show. One-way to help ease your way into the WGA is through a fellowship with a studio. He suggested ABC since that was how he did it back in the day. I looked up the information and when they put the application back up I will be jumping at that like Christmas in July! First I must find out if I can even still apply since the strike and all. I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize my chance of joining the WGA. Sounds like a great program though and if I can get out of my “lovely” cashier job I would definitely be overjoyed! Shortly after that the writer left and I never got his name. I say thanks to you my fellow peer! Thank you for your advice and know I support you!

When He Saw Her Pt. 2

2007-11-09T22:08:00.000-08:00

Finally my continuation to the original Flash Fiction.

Ok, I have decided to keep adding to this story and I apologize to people like Lycander for taking so long to add on it to. I thought it would be interesting to keep my continuations as a 100-word limit short. I will see how it turns out. For those who would like to catch up on the original here is the link: When He Saw Her

The door explodes open as he runs out into the cold and damp alley. No recollection of what has happened prior to the discovery of his lovely corpse. The last thing he remembers his holding he beloved in his arms and smelling her sweet scent of Cherry Blossoms.

After what seems to be an eternity he finally stops running to catch his breath. Each breath he takes becomes slower and slower. Screams echoing in the distance move suddenly surrounding him. He looks around but there is nothing but darkness surrounds him at least that is until he sees those eyes.

“What are you going to do for the holiday?”

2007-11-09T00:27:00.001-08:00

I think I will go picketing.

Ever since this Writer Guild went on strike I have been paying extra attention to the news and have been looking for articles about it on the news. Why? Well, I am an aspiring screenwriter and I want to know what is going on. I have wanted to go down and picket ever since my favorite blog writing/Screenwriter, John August, invited his readers down to join him. I feel that is really important to go and show my support because those are my fellow peers and they are fighting for the rights that the current and aspiring writers should have. I know that if they get what they want it will be a better situation for me when I get out into the industry.

I baby-sit four days and week and then on my weekends I work my lovely cashier job. So I have not been able to join my fellow peers at the picket lines. It turns out that since Monday is a holiday and I will more than likely not be babysitting I will have a chance to actually go down there and show my support. I would like to extend the invitation out to all that are in the area to go down and support the writers as well. Whether it is by a honk or actually holding a sign. It would mean so much to the writers out there to know that they are supported. To read more information about the strike here is a link to John August’s blog: John August

Upcoming events for me that I am looking forward to are as listed:

- Picketing on Monday
- Disneyland on Tuesday
- Getting paid on Thursday

Take care everyone!

Burned Cereal and Silly Brits

2007-11-07T22:22:00.000-08:00

My thoughts on random subjects.

I was having a discussion with my dear friend Marina about her moving to Oregon when she mentions to me that she has a friend who has burned cereal. My only thought was, “How on earth do you burn cereal?” When I asked her this she said her friend wanted his Cheerios toasted so he put a blowtorch to them. Has anyone else wanted his or her cereal toasted? I know I have not had the sudden urge to toast up my cereal. Is this a common thing that I have not discovered until now?

The next subject would be the silly laws that London has. The article can be found Here.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that these laws exist because well, doesn’t America have some outlandish laws lying around somewhere? It was humorous for me to read especially since I had just had a comment conversation with Ricey in her I Should Have Known post about the BBC America shows and such. I shall take this as a sign that the BBC wants me to watch their network again! They do miss me and I must admit I miss them as well!

Another thing that was brought up in that conversation was is it chic to be a geek? I think of myself as a geek in many ways and I feel that the best people in the world are geeks. They are lovable, funny, caring, intelligent and many other good qualities. What do you think?

As with many things I need to catch up on I am now catching up on my Chevelle fix. After seeing them twice last week I have realized how much I missed listening to their music. Just now they came up on my playlist on iTunes and now I have it set to play nothing but them. There is nothing like good music to get you in a better mood.

Chevelle is from Chicago and I say this just so I can move on to another random subject of me finding a killer deal on a roundtrip plane ticket to Chicago next August that will only cost me $47.50 or something like that if I buy it now or soon. I am considering buying my ticket early but apart of me wants to make sure my friend is in town at that time otherwise I will be staying a week at the lovely O’Hare airport. We shall see. I’ll update later on what I plan on doing for a whole week there. I guess that shall be all for tonight. I am off to drift off into Chevelle Land.

House of Blues on Sunset – Hollywood, Ca -- October 30th, 2007

2007-11-01T20:37:00.000-07:00

I awoke at 7:30am to the sound of Pete screaming at me. What did he scream did you say? “So lay down, when his sight goes red again!” I sometimes wish I had a different song for an alarm. But, I have found that scares me awake just fine so I stick with it. I prepare to baby-sit my baby cousins, Noah and Becca. They have not arrived yet so I make a comfy makeshift bed on the couch. Two hours later they arrived and I watched them until about 2 pm when I went to get ready for my concert. My sister Janice watched them for me.

I took my shower and I was set to leave until I needed to wait on my other sister, Connie, to come home from school. She was going to watch the babies after I left so that Janice, Alfredo and I could make our dinner reservations at the House of Blues restaurant at 5:30pm. As soon as she arrived we all took off. I was still on a high from the night before. I couldn’t wait to get to the House of Blues.

When we finally arrive there Alfredo was getting confused as to where to park. After a short argument he finally pulled in to the House of Blues parking lot. We start to go down the hill and low and behold guess who were hanging out at the bottom of the hill. Peter and Samuel Loeffler. Now, I start freaking out in the “Oh crap. I don’t want them to think I am stalking them” way. So I tell Alfredo to back up, we also thought it was a dead-end and we went in the wrong way. But, I was reminded that Alfredo’s car does not have reverse. So we had no choice but to go straight ahead. Alfredo started to roll down his window to tell Pete something but Janice and I made him stop by repeating, “Don’t say anything! Just drive!” We pass Pete and mean while Janice is covering her face and repeatedly saying, “I don’t know you.” And I was in the back seat avoiding looking out the car window. All I could think when we passed Sam was “THANK GOD that Alfredo has tinted windows!” When we reached the end it turns out it wasn’t a dead end but it was valet parking. No sooner did we realize this did the valet guys open our doors. We all get out of the car and Janice starts to try to get Alfredo to tell the valet guys about the reverse. Alfredo almost walks off without telling them until Janice and I reminded him. He then starts to ask the guy if he could park the car in a way where he can just drive out because his car has no reverse. After that Janice and I walked a little ways away from embarrassment. Apparently the guy didn’t believe Alfredo and got in the car and tried to back up and when he wasn’t going anywhere Janice and I started to crack up. Then a small group of the valets come to push his car. One of them asked Alfredo “Dude? What happened to your reverse?” and they pushed his car right next to the venue and not too far away from where the equipment would be loaded and unloaded. It was a very nice spot.

After that little amusing ordeal, we start our walk up the hill to the restaurant when who do we see again. Sam and Pete Loeffler. I just kept thinking, “Oh great, they must think I am some psycho fan.” As we got closer Pete and I looked at each other and I got the courage to blurt out “Hey!” and I smiled and he smiles and says “HellOoOoOo.” As we passed each other there were these two 17-year-old boys looking at me like “Oh my god. She just talked to Pete Loeffler!” It was pretty funny because for the first time I wasn’t all that nervous I just acted very nonchalantly. I was proud of myself. So we make in time for our reservations and we eat our meals. Then we wait in the line for early entry and we chat with some other early entry Chevelle fans. Sam walked past us and we all just kind of glanced at him.

We are finally let in and we wait about an hour for the show to finally start. Tyler Read came on and immediately Janice and I started dancing and that got the lead singers attention. So throughout their set we got a lot of looks from him. The poor guy’s microphone holder broke on one song and he had to play the guitar with one hand and hold the microphone with the other hand. He looked at us like “What can I do?” When the song ended he proudly declared, “I’m always breaking shit.” Their set was really good and Janice and I danced their set away. Shortly before the set ended the singer had another mishap. He was rocking out with his guitar and managed to head bang his head on to the head of the other guitarists guitar. He had to back up to shake off his injury. Like a trooper he played the rest of the set.

2 Cents took the stage and immediately Alfredo took to them. He really enjoyed their music. The singer/drummer was amusing yet again but he met with some mishaps of his own. His snare drum broke and he dropped one of his drumsticks. Then after he got his replacement one he broke it on the broken snare. He replaced the snare and the stick and the show went on. I enjoyed their set more this time because I was familiar with the songs and my sister and Alfredo always make shows fun. The crowd loved them and they really amped up the crowd for Chevelle.

Chevelle takes the stage finally and that is when all hell broke loose with the crowd. The front was no longer a comfy place but it was more like a pressure cooker of some sort. Janice could no longer take it and left to somewhere more comfortable with Alfredo. I decided to tough it out. It was ok there was this drunkish guy fending off the crowd for me so I wasn’t as squished. In the middle of all that Dean managed to throw me two picks. I was very pleased with that. For those of you keeping count of the number of picks Dean gave me over the two days it is now three. Chevelle were very happy with the crowd this time because they were WAY more alive then the night before. In the middle of Forfeit Pete slipped and fell by his amp and he quickly got up to see Sam laughing at him. Chevelle played very well as usual and no words that I can say can describe just how well they were. I was pleasantly surprised to see that this time around seeing Dean has become more aggressive with his bass.

The show ends and I meet up with Janice and Alfredo and Alfredo shows me the photos he secretly took of the concert and I will try and post them up here for you. He got some videos too. Here is what I can remember of the setlist (Not in order):

Antisaint
Brainiac
Vitamin R
Comfortable Liar
The Red
SMA
Straight Jacket Fashion
Forfeit
Still Running
Saturdays
I Get It
Send The Pain Below
The Clincher
Well Enough Alone
Closure
Humanoid
Another Know It All – Extended ending is intro to Prove To You

And that is the end of my show. I hope you all enjoyed this :)

The Grove of Anaheim - Anaheim, Ca -- October 29th, 2007

2007-10-31T03:36:00.001-07:00

The day started off rushed or in some sort of disarray. I am running behind on everything but I manage to head out the door at 4pm and go to pick up my cousin William to then head off to the show. We got at the venue at 4:30pm and we had about 2 ½ hours before the doors open and we were waiting for Kylie and Katie to come and meet us for the show. I decided to take my cousin to Starbucks instead of waiting with the fans in the small line because we were both thirsty and I really wanted to wait in line with my girlies.

After we had our drinks and a series of text messages later we go back to the venue to meet up with Kylie and Katie. We get a semi-spot on Dean’s side. I say semi-spot because it was so tight I had to put one arm over the rail and that was all I could fit.

Tyler Read came on right on time. Honestly I wasn’t expecting much from them but they surprised me. They were pretty fun to watch and I found myself dancing to their music, one arm over the rail and all. They had some parts of their set where they would all head bang in unison. It was pretty amusing but I had a really good time during their set. They were very gracious and very happy that we were there to support them. I think their set went by too quick for me because the next thing I know they were walking off the stage and they were making way for the next acts.

2 Cents is the next band to take the stage. Now, they are a completely different style of band from Tyler Read. They are HEAVY! But, this is a rock show is this not? The singer is also the drummer. He had his drum kit positioned sideways. It was an interesting setup. But, they were one crazy band. They really got the crowd amped up and got them moshing. The singer was pretty amusing most of the time and the music was good for the style it was.

Soon Chevelle came on to the stage and then I finally managed to squeeze my other arm over the rail. The crowd was pretty hard to get moving around. It is usually like that for Chevelle in Anaheim. Well, at that venue that is. But, at the House of Blues in Anaheim it is livelier. Now, This is not in correct order this is just what songs I remember.

Antisaint
Brainiac
Vitamin R
Comfortable Liar
The Red
SMA
Straight Jacket Fashion
Forfeit
Still Running
Saferwaters
I Get It
Send The Pain Below
The Clincher
Well Enough Alone
Closure

There was no encore but you know Chevelle always goes a great job. I got a pick from Dean so that made me happy.

After the show we went to the bus and waited for Chevelle to come out and I started talking to some Chevellions outside then low-and-behold a woman, I am SO Sorry I forgot your name!, was looking at me and she asks “Are you on the boards?” and I responded “Which ones? The official one of the ChevelleOnline one?” and she said “Either. Are you Geneva? The one with the Birthday shirt?” and I said “Yes I am.” We greeted each other and she said her name but I couldn’t hear her too well. She is a lurker of the board. So if she is reading this then HI! And please let me know your name again. :X

Pete was the first one to come out and talk to us. He walked straight up to me and I started to explain what the birthday shirt was. I had already taken it out and Pete was looking at it. I basically told him that the fans from the ChevelleOnline board came together and put down a bunch of birthday messages for him. I showed him it was on the front and back and then I told him that some of the messages were hard to read so I made a booklet for him to read them. He was very surprised but very thankful for it. He just said, “This is for me? Wow, thank you very much.” He took them and let me know he was going to have his friends hold it for a bit because he was going around talking to everyone and signing autographs and taking photos. My sister Janice and her boyfriend Alfredo had arrived just before Pete came out with us. So they got to meet him again as well. Pete was saying how it was really hard to wake up the crowd there at Anaheim and out at the House of Blues in Anaheim they are no longer taking rock acts. Then Janice mentioned something about Britney Spears and Pete talked about the drumhead. He was just like “Yea, I don’t even know who won that…” Pete then started talking about how he recognized all of us from the audience and Janice decided to call him out and said “Oh yea? You remember me?” and poor Pete was like “Oh yea! I remember you!” and then we were all like “She wasn’t even there..” and Pete was then like “Well, that’s why I was so pissed… You better be rocking out in the front at tomorrow’s show then!” He said more but I can’t remember but we were all laughing with eachother.

I later asked Pete what the guys were doing for Halloween and he said he wasn’t sure but they had a day off in Vegas but he was sure they were going to do something fun. Then I asked him if they were going to do a pre-Halloween bash at the Hollywood show and he was just like “I don’t know… But that’s a good idea!” He stayed out and talked with the fans for a while and he even signed Alfredo’s guitar for guitar hero. Kylie and Katie asked Pete to take a photo with them. They didn’t like the first photo they took with him and he was like “I think it looks fine…” but he took another one. When it came to mine I knew he was making a funny face so I was going to make one too but they took the photo too fast so I wasn’t even looking at the camera. But Pete seemed to enjoy it a lot.

A little while after Pete left Dean came out and we started talking. Then we started talking about his baby and when he would see her again. He just seemed to light up when he talks about his baby. He didn’t show any photos cause he didn’t have his phone or camera on him. I asked Dean if I could take a photo with him and he said “Sure!” and when we were taking our photo he said, “Smile!” and then after he saw the photo and he said, “Aww I am not even smiling! You took it just before I was going to smile. Let’s take another one!” and we took another one and he asked to see that one and he then smiled and said “Nice!” When Kylie went to take her photo with him she was like “Get me on my good side!” and then Dean was like “Oh this is my good side!” and he put his head down and told Kylie to do the same and I took a photo. And then he was like “Ok another photo!” He did the same thing for Katie. When my cousin William took his photo with him he was like “It looks like I am stealing something! Better check your wallet!” Alfredo got him to sign his guitar as well.

A short while after Dean left Sam finally came out. We talked for a little bit and I asked for a photo. We took our photo and Kylie was like “OH NO! Your eyes are closed!” and she showed him and he said, “We can take another one!” And we took another photo and this time his eyes were open haha. Sam was asked about the music video for I Get It and he said it would be coming out in two days and he spoke a little bit on it. Then someone asked him when they were coming out with a new DVD because the Norva one is getting old and he was like “I would love for us to make another one but it costs $100,000 to shoot that.” I then asked Sam if he still kept the shirts he asked for on the Nickelback show and he said he kept some of them. Since it was Alfredo’s shirt I sent he asked him if he remembered his Spartan shirt that was green and yellow lettering. Sam said, “Yes I do remember it. It was perfect! I still have it at home” He then explained how he is still collecting some but that he hasn’t gotten any shirts in a while. So you know what that means people… Look for his post about the rules and guidelines for what kind of shirts to send and send it to him! He was talking about how he got some in Australia and was very surprised it reached that far. He then explained how he couldn’t keep most of the shirts because they were either too big, white, bright orange, yellow or green, or they were from different company logos on them so he can advertise for them or something. He told us about one shirt that he got that was 1. White, 2. Had the bands faces on it and 3. Was and XL. He said, “I just thought ‘Did they not even read my post?’” Sam then left to go get something to eat.

After Sam left we all stuffed into Alfredo’s car to drop Kylie and Katie at their car and then Alfredo started doing spins in his car it was pretty funny. We were going to go eat at Denny’s but William had to get home because it was already after 1 am and he still had homework to do. So we got Carl’s Jr and we called it a night. I had a blast and I loved every bit of it. On to the next night’s review!

Confessions Of A Cashier

2007-10-11T01:13:00.000-07:00

What really goes on in their minds as they ring you up.

Now, I have been a cashier for about a year now. I just have to say that even though I may be smiling and crap I am really thinking, “I hate you all” as you bring your two immense shopping carts full of who knows what up to my register.

I don’t really consider myself a bitter person but after a year of working this job it does something to how you look at people. I very rarely get the very good customers; I usually get the average customer that just wants to buy their stuff and go. I would really like to get them out of there as fast as possible as well. Then the majority of the time you get the assholes that love to try and make your day as horrible as possible.

A little advice to anyone who has and will go shopping in the near future, please for the love of all that is holy make sure ALL of your items have a barcode or UPC# on it. I cannot tell you how many times people have brought up items without those two items and they get upset at me because I can’t ring it up. I’m sorry but if your lazy ass couldn’t bother to make sure there was something there then how can you expect me to ring the stupid thing up. It would be common courtesy for the customer to do that much for the cashier.

Another thing that just annoys the hell out of me is the fact that the customers act like it is my fault their item has no barcode on it. Or when they don’t make sure an item costs what they think it is. I hate how the customers think that we have control of how much an item is. Like we would purposely put the item so high. Double check the prices genius and we wouldn’t have to do the price checks and end up proving you wrong anyway. Another thing that would be lovely is PLEASE take all your crap with you. Don’t change your mind on items when you get to the register. Also, if you really can’t put the item back and you really can’t buy it please don’t go shoving it in the isle somewhere. We cashiers will find it and that is just another load of crap that we have to lug back to the courtesy desk. And if you have perishables, BUY THEM! Don’t leave them in the isle! That is one of the rudest things you could do. I am sorry I can understand if you don’t have the money but at least have someone go put the perishable back or at least put it in a drink cooler or something! Just like you don’t like touching the raw chicken or beef, we don’t either!

Please put any and ALL items on the register belt please. Don’t assume that just cause some items are all priced the same that we can ring one of them up. Yes, four different items may cost the same but they all have a different barcode and it messes up the inventory when we scan one item and not all of the others. Please no jokes about how you ‘printed’ your twenties, fifties or hundreds that day. We get it all the time and it never gets any better. If you have large HEAVY items, please take them off the bag carousel as soon as we scan them. They just take up space and makes it harder for us to bag the other items. While we are on that topic, take your shit off the carousel as well when it is full. I know I will stop ringing up your items if you don’t take it off. I don’t know how you expect us to finish scanning all your crap if you don’t remove the bags. Cases of soda, twelve packs of soda or bunches of Gatorade or large things of toilet paper or paper towels DO NOT need bags! Please do not waste bags for those items. We do go through bag shortages so please don’t take more than what you need. Also, if you are just going to re-bag what I just bagged you should have gone to self-fucking checkout. I try to bag things in an orderly fashion and when you just go and change it up it just annoys me.

DO NOT turn the carousel as I am still bagging your items. That is so unbelievably rude! You may think you are helping speed things along but you are not, so don’t! Back to self-checkout, no I will not scan your stuff for you. It is called self-checkout for a damn reason. YOU check YOURSELF out! I am more than willing to help you with a problem but I will not scan your stuff. Also, if you scan something twice don’t leave the item in front of the scanner and act surprised when it has scanned 50 times! If you don’t move it of course it will scan a billion times. Most importantly if you really don’t know how to use it don’t go to it.

If we turn our light off and say we are closed then that means WE ARE CLOSED! Why? We need a break sometime you know. We have to eat lunch and go home at some point. Some of us would rather not get overtime and get fired. Even if you have one item go to a 10 items or less line. Please don’t be a sneaky dick and get in the line anyway.

I think that is all for now because I can’t remember all of it at the moment. I am sure while I am at work on Friday it will all come to me and I’ll make a part two or something. So in summary please do these simple things and we cashiers will not hate you in the end.

- Cashier Geneva

Thank you Giada.

2007-10-08T22:02:00.001-07:00

Mmmm cookies.

Who is Giada? She is a chef on the Food Network that came up with these delicious Lemon Ricotta Cookies with Lemon Glaze! These cookies would have to be the fanciest cookies I have ever made.

It was a nice and relaxing day and I had my share of tasty treats. I never really noticed how relaxing baking could be until today. Yes, it makes a big mess in the end. Just somehow when I was scooping the cookie dough out from the bowl to the cookie sheet I could feel myself calm down. I was so proud of how they came out. I found myself offering them to as many people as I could.

I wish I could venture out of the world of baking though. I want to try my hand at actual cooking. I want to make some lavish dinner or just some roast like my mother. I can cook eggs, pancakes, waffles, soup, man n’ cheese and all those simple things. I yearn for some more adventure in the kitchen. I’d rather not stay within the safety net of baking. Not to say that baking is really easy, it is just easier for me to bake than to cook an actual meal.

Have a good one folks, until next time!

RE: I Am Happy

2007-10-01T21:52:00.000-07:00

A response to Chelle’s list of why she is happy.

I have decided to post my list of why I am happy here. Here it goes:

1. I bought the new Foo Fighters album.
2. I received my concert tickets to see Chevelle three times this month.
3. I am listening to, old but new to me, music from my favorite French band, Superbus.
4. I get paid on Thursday.
5. I have seen a few pairs of cute earrings that I really want to buy.
6. I got to put some really cute hair clips in my baby cousin, Becca, hair.

I think that is all for now. That was pretty refreshing. ☺

Then Just Take Me

2007-09-25T22:34:00.000-07:00

Words I want to say but don’t.

I miss the embrace of your arms. Let my heart melt with you smile. I wish I could look into your eyes again. Those beautiful eyes that I still can’t seem to find my way out of.

I remember one time you made me smile and the room seemed to glow. The mandatory meeting at school left my energy level running on empty. I decided to rest my head on the wall next to my seat and I daze off in to the not so empty classroom. I sense you walking back and forth in the class and I continue to daze off. You lean down and we look at each other eye to eye. You smile that sweet smile of yours and wave hello to me. No longer in a daze my smile becomes more than a slight grin. I wave back and your smile grows bigger and you walk off again. I look away to try to hide the ridiculously large smile on my face. But, it was not as easy as I thought. It never gets any easier with the thought of you.

In my crazy little mind you tell me “I want you” and all I want to say to you is “Then just take me!” I have to wake up sometime and that’s the sad fact of all this. Moving on and past you will be hard but I know I have been blessed to have met you. Even for just a small while, you made my heart beat better than it has in a while.

I Have Always…

2007-09-23T22:29:00.000-07:00

A list of things that I have always wanted to do in my lifetime.

- To kiss someone in the rain. Not that stupid California rain either. I mean the real rain where it is POURING!
- To twirl outside while it was snowing.
- To stare deeply in to someone’s eyes.
- To actually be good at playing the guitar.
- To take a long road-trip across the USA.
- To backpack through Europe.
- To see the Green-flash.
- To go ice-skating.
- To meet the Foo Fighters, it’s always been a dream of mine. I love that band.
- To learn how to make delicious concoctions.
- To learn to sing relatively well.
- To go to the Opera.
- To go to a ball.

I know there are more but those are the ones that are standing out in my mind at the moment. What is your list of things that you have wanted to do?

A lot of these I think I can actually achieve and I plan on making those dreams a reality. One of the many things that I find so calming and peaceful is to take a good long walk in the rain. The thought of it brings a warming smile to my face. I wanted to take a walk this weekend but unfortunately a thing called work got in the way. I hope it rains out here again because I really want to take that walk.

Another thing that I think would be awesome to do is to dance or twirl in the rain. But I already achieved that back in my high school days. I think I am due for another twirl. I like to think of myself as young at heart. I shall bid you all ado for now as I wait for another rainfall to come my way. How I long for those icy drops of pleasure to hit my warm skin.

Ahh, I Am Still Here

2007-09-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

An update of my serious lack of writing

Hello everyone,

Well, it has been fairly obvious that I have neglected my writing for the past few weeks. Why? Well, for the simple fact that I haven’t felt like writing. Why haven’t I felt like writing? I lost someone who I have grown up with my whole life, my grandmother.

She died on August 19th, 2007. I had to go to Oklahoma for her funeral and then I had to get things in order for other stuff and I really haven’t had the want, need or time to write anything. As of lately I have wanted to write something but when I got the opportunity I have just been too worn out to even type out the words.

I’m not going to lie; it’s been extremely hard for me after my grandmother’s passing. I see so many things that remind me of her and it makes me miss her all the more. I still feel like she is just down the hall lying on the bed that is no longer there. It is still hard for me to talk about this without tears falling down my face. It is still close to home and a touchy issue. I mean I think I am pretty fine most of the times but once I see an old family video, a photo, or just one of the many objects that remind me of her I feel saddened. My pain can’t be nearly as bad as my mothers and my aunts and uncle or my grandfather’s.

When my grandmother was in the hospital and I knew she was dying I really did not want to be in the room when she passed. I felt that when she passed that I would die as well. I just couldn’t see my life without her. I pictured everything going black and that scared me and I was scared for her. Watching her trying her hardest to hold on for her family. Saying ‘No, I can’t go. Who’s going to take care of them?’ is one of the hardest things a person can see. I was in the waiting room the night she passed away. I was almost asleep when my aunt Shirley told me that I was wanted in my grandmother’s hospital room. I witnessed the one thing I did not want to see. I saw my grandmother die and let me tell you. That image still haunts me to this day. It was the very reason why I didn’t want to be in the room. But, I needed to be there for my mother. I had to be strong for my mother. Everyone just kept telling me to be strong for my mother. I hope I was strong enough for her.

I feel horrible for neglecting my friends. I just haven’t felt the need to call, and you all should know I don’t call because I am not a phone person, or even e-mailed. I just did not have any desire to. I am sorry; I hope you all can understand. So I will end with this. I hope everyone is doing well. Take care.

One of the many reasons why...

2007-09-10T21:46:00.001-07:00

Dave Grohl rocks. He says the darndest things

"You know those things that you put batteries in and they just vacuum the floor without anyone touching them? That's what I think of Britney Spears" - Dave on Britney's VMA Performance.

My Angel

2007-08-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

I Try So Hard

2007-08-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

But I am failing

I am trying so hard to be strong for you but I feel like I am failing. I am trying to be the strength for my mom and my sisters and I am failing at that too.

With each and every passing second a little piece of that wall cracks. Every teardrop is another pebble or stone from my wall. It’s getting hard to breathe now and the tears won’t stop flowing. My eyes seem to be swollen from all the tears. I try to hold them back but with every memory I have of you it brings back the tears times ten.

I don’t want you to go, I don’t want to have to say goodbye. I want to be able to see you laugh and watch CSI Miami. I want to see you drive in your van and listen to your music. I want to see you drink your wine and give me a hug and a kiss. I want to hear all of your advice. Just to hear your voice and see your smile would be an unspeakable joy.

It’s not fair that Noah and Becca won’t get to know you as well as I have. It’s not fair that they won’t get your birthday cards or your Christmas gifts. They deserve to have you love and so much more. They deserve at least a memory, but they are too young.

This is the hardest thing I have had to go through in my life. The fifth wish out of the five was the hardest to go over. When it was asking us to forgive you for any hurt you’ve cause us. You did nothing to hurt us and there is nothing to forgive. I am sorry I wasn’t around more. I am sorry I never hugged your more or spoke to you more. I curse my quiet nature right now because it took away any chance I had to speak with you. In my mind I always had tomorrow.

I don’t want you to be in any more pain. I want to see you come home and sit in your chair or on your couch again. I am going to miss you so much and if I am like this right now I don’t know how I will be when you are gone. I love you so very much and this hurts just the same, more likely it hurts worse.

You Hold The Rights I’ll Never Own

2007-08-16T03:32:00.000-07:00

A bunch of mixed emotions all rolled in to one person.

Is anyone ever ready to say goodbye to someone they hold dear? Is everyone ever ready for the wave of hurt that is going to come?

So, with you holding all the rights that I will never own is it ok for me to beg you not to take that person from me? Can I plead for you to spare her life for a while longer? Is it ok for me to be selfish not only for myself but for my family’s sake as well? Can I be able to introduce her to my future husband? Can she be there for the birth of my future unborn child? Can she please be able to watch her two youngest grandchildren grow? Is it too much to ask?

Can you help me not be bitter towards another? Can you help me feel like she does respect me? Can you help me feel like she does care about how I feel? Can you help me not feel envious of the two of them? That they have someone they can lean on for support. They have someone they love and can be their strength. Do I not deserve that?

Is it wrong that at the moment I could care less about other topics? Is it wrong that all I want is for someone to just hold me and reassure me that things will get better? Is it wrong to feel this way? Should I just suck it up and deal with it and except the inevitable even though that means I have to say goodbye?

Pressure

2007-08-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

The never-ending pressure

The only thing that is keeping me from going insane is the music that is playing through my ears graciously from my headphones.

When I left home for Chicago, almost two weeks ago, it felt as if this huge weight of pressure was lifted off of my shoulders and I was suddenly free. I welcomed the sunlight through my small window on the plane. I could breathe and I was at peace.

My time there was incredibly joyous and I wished it would never end. Unfortunately I had to come back home eventually. Like the year before I became somewhat depressed to be leaving a place I loved so dearly. It gave me a feeling I had been lacking for sometime now and I teased myself with it. When I came home it was bitter sweet. It was nice to see my family again but I felt like that weight was put back on to my shoulders.

I feel like I have to face enormous amounts of pressure and sad to say that is what I think a good portion of life is about. Just facing those pressures and hopefully you’ll get to have that sense of freedom for good and not just 5 days and 4 nights.

I need to be a better sister, a better daughter, a better granddaughter, a better friend, and a better cousin. I need to be more helpful in cleaning. I need to not get so stressed over things that are out of my control. I need to believe that things will get better soon and that life isn’t going to get worse. I need to believe that my grandma will get better. I need to believe that I will soon have enough money to pay off the bills.

I need and want a lot of things but I will always have this. My writing and whether it is good or bad I will always have it. It keeps me sane just like the music that floods my ears. I get to breathe again when I write and things don’t seem so bad. I get a sense of clarity and a sense of something positive.

I am a distant friend to some right now. It’s just I am not ready to take on some things just yet and I will get back in to contact with you soon. Just right now, I need to regain that sense of clarity and sanity.

Until then, I continue on my quest to defeat all my pressures.

Birthday Part Two

2007-08-02T01:57:00.001-07:00

Hello everyone,

Here is the second part to my blog. My birthday part over at Marina's. I got a ton of fabulous gifts from the gang and I am very thankful! We played these games:

Price is Right
Crainium (The Pop Culture one)
Clue
Imaginiff...
Guitar Hero

We all went out to eat at Applebees and I heard some entertaining stories and ate some good Nachos. I was getting very tired toward the end of the night and the moment I would start to fall asleep Marina would throw a random object at me and I would wake up. Good times I tell ya. haha. I ended up sleeping around 3:30am and woke up at 8:30am to my phone ringing. Put it on silent and went back to sleep and woke up around 10:30am. I was tired all day haha. After migrating from room to room we finally migrated to the Olive Garden and we 'Stole' Breadsticks. I still say it wasn't stealing cause we paid for them. Haha.

Basically at the Olive Garden the waitress kept rejecting me. I was the very last person to get their food. Then when I wanted a box the waitress just walked right past me. Then when I asked for her to split the check she walked right past me again. Not cool. But it all worked out and I went home to prepare for my Chicago trip. Which will lead to my birthday update part three! :-D I cannot wait! Until then, here are a few photos from yesterday:

Ashely SMILING! :D

Marina and her R2D2 popcorn bowl. hehe.

"John Travolta!"

Birthday Part One

2007-07-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

Hola everyone! Normally I would blog about this but ehh. I'll probably just copy and paste this there. lol.

Well, there was no drinking for my 21st birthday. I was very glad to see that everyone understood my decision for not wanting to drink. :) If you don't know why, that will be for another time. But, what I wanted to do instead was have a game night. Everyone who came was to bring a game(s) that they wanted to play and we would try and play them all. I have a big stack of games here. Here are what we played:

Taboo
Imaginiff...
Family Feud
Pictionary
Deal or No Deal
Part of The Worst Case Scenario Survival Game
Part of some Pyramid Game haha.

More games to be played tomorrow but that is a different post entirely haha. Here are some photos. The rest are posted in my photos section. Enjoy!

Kylie and Katie!

The three of us hamming it up.

Seriously, did I even make I wish.. I can't remember.. lol

There You Were

2007-07-28T22:45:00.000-07:00

What happens to me after I see a movie.

I just got finished watching a lovely film called ‘Cashback’ starring Sean Biggerstaff and Emilia Fox. I have wanted to see this film for a long time now. I have been a fan of Sean Biggerstaff’s films since I saw him in my beloved Harry Potter, yes I was deeply saddened when I found out he would not be in the third film. I digress; he has a knack for picking quality work so when I heard about Cashback I was really interested in seeing it. A while back I noticed it was playing at the Newport Beach Film Festival but alas, it was not to be. By the time the film would have finished it would have taken too long to get to school in time for class. My heart broke into tiny little pieces.

The other day I was reminded of the film when I saw it mentioned on the front page of Yahoo. I decided to make it the next film on my list on Netflix and I received it in the mail today. After the sad Dodger game and dinner was done I put on the film. It was shot beautifully and I was deeply drawn to the characters. I was drawn into their little world and I felt as if I was right there with the character Ben when time stopped around him.

Now after the film was done I was still somewhat in the world of the film. This happens to me every time I see a movie that I enjoy greatly. I picture myself in the world and how I would interact with these fictional characters. It is my way of holding on to something that I liked very much. If I can make it last just a little bit longer I wouldn’t have to go back to the reality of my life. My imagination goes into overdrive and I get inspired to try and create something that would not be nearly as great as what I had just seen.

So the title says ‘There You Were’. I was reintroduced to someone who I had admired in the past. All the reasons that I admired him came back to me and I found new reasons to admire him. His eyes looked solemn and yet they had something wanting to come out. His hair looked rough and yet it lay softly on his head. When he did smile, it brought out a light. When he spoke I held on to every word for as long as I could until the next word came to take its place. And then I realized, that it wasn’t him at all. It was someone he was playing, the fictional character in the story. So there he was, on my television screen. It was as if I was seeing a long lost friend from my past. It made me smile and when the film ended I was glad I got to play catch up for the past hour and thirty-nine minutes. I hope I see him again soon.

Photos from seanbiggerstaff.com and http://www.festivaldufilm-dinard.com/

Just My Type

2007-07-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

My discovery of what I seem to be attracted to.

Though I do have a knack for falling for the wrong guys, they aren’t necessarily bad guys. Just unavailable for good reason too.

The first thing I notice are the eyes and the next is the smile. With the eyes, it doesn’t really matter what color they are. I just have to get a feeling from them. If I can look into them and I get kindness, caring and other good qualities then that is a step up. What would make it better is if they had glasses. Then I will more than likely notice the person. I don’t know when this thing started or how but for me there is nothing better then when a man wears his spectacles. I think they highlight the eyes more and since I notice the eyes anyway it just helps the process along faster.

With the smile, same thing with the eye thing I have to get a good vibe from it. It has to be warm and inviting. It’s got to be a smile that will give me no other option but to smile back.

More than anything the guy has to have a good head on their shoulders. I like confidence but I don’t like cockiness. A little modesty never hurt anyone. I like when they know what they want to do for their future. I like that they have goals, current and long term ones. They have to be hard working and pretty much someone who will listen. Honesty is good but they don’t have to be brutal. There is nothing more attractive then for a man to be passionate about something.

I love humor, and honestly who doesn’t? But, if the guy can make me laugh that is always a plus. Being comfortable with who you are is a great quality. There is nothing wrong with being a sweetheart. I love it when someone is as excited about something as I am. When a guy doesn’t take himself too seriously is almost always a sure way to a good time. Being able to have a long lasting conversation with a guy is always a plus. To have some sort of intelligence is a major bonus. Even if I may not know about a good portion of things I love when a guy introduces me to new things. Whether it is music, literature, films etc.

The guy doesn’t have to be drop dead gorgeous because in the end if he has all the said things then I will think he is the best looking man I have ever seen. I am really big on personality. It always brings out the best in people and if the guy is a genuinely good guy then he will definitely shine in my eyes.

Cold Eyes

2007-07-22T23:44:00.000-07:00

A tale of an undead woman (A continuing story)

Snow sprinkles down on to the city street. In the curtain of snow a figure appears. Grace Fairewood, walks with her hands in her coat pockets. It is hard to tell the shape of her face through the snow. Her skin is almost as white as the snow. The only way to see her coming is by her dark wardrobe and exceptionally dark hair that passes her shoulders.

Time slows down and what makes Grace stand out more in the crowd is that while everyone else is heavily dressed in winter coats and snow boots, Grace is wearing a light coat and black tennis shoes. Everyone except her is covering his or her faces. Nothing seems to faze her, not even the painfully cold wind. Suddenly the crowd blurs and the only clear image is of Grace walking.

Grace walks on with her head down and when she looks up she stops in front of this bridal shop. She sees a young woman posing in front of a mirror in her wedding dress. The only expression you get from Grace is through her eyes. It’s as if the world just got very dejected.

The beams of sunlight shined through the window on to a young Grace. Her skin was ivory and she looked alive. Her smile was infectious and the room seemed to glow even more. She was standing in front of her mirror in her wedding gown. It was made of the simplest of silks and lace. Back in the Elizabethan era it was a beautiful time. A time where art flourished and the creative juices poured into many glasses. Grace’s hair was long and was a chestnut brown. A voice is heard in the distance; ‘You can have that day again if you really wanted it.’

Back to the present Grace turns around and looks at the man behind her. Alexander Horsey, a man with round black-framed glasses and had a pale coffee toned complexion. At first glance he looks fairly young. Take a longer look and you noticed he is aged. His dark hair has a hint of gray. He has lived far longer than you and has seen things no living creature can imagine. ‘You tell that to the man who was left waiting for me!’ Grace snapped back.

‘I saw you behind me when I left Leventhorpe’ she said. ‘Why didn’t you stop me then?’ Alexander asked. Grace looked at him and smirked ‘Because, I know you didn’t want me to know. Takes the fun out of the chase.’ And with that she walked into a crowd and disappeared with Alexander rushing off behind her.

I Will Never Let You Fall

2007-07-19T22:10:00.000-07:00

So, I was lurking around the site and I noticed a blog about the song that is played at your funeral and it got me thinking about the subject. My uncle John passed about a week ago and since then I have seen a good number posts on death and many things thereof. If I am not mistaken I even thought I saw a post on guardian angels. I think I am getting mixed up with the song I am listening to and the actual post. Who knows?

Does everyone have a guardian angel? If you are not religious does that mean you don’t get one? I personally think that everyone has one. I was raised Catholic but I don’t really practice it. I take a few beliefs from the religion.

Now on to what I was really talking about. Guardian angels, yes. I choose to believe that everyone has one. It is up to the individual if they decide to heed their warnings or ignore them. Though over the course of the past two years I have been going through what some would consider the worst time of their lives. I mean it’s bad but I feel like I can get through it. My guardian angel is constantly whispering in my ear to ‘Hold on’, ‘Just keep going. You can do it.’ Unconsciously I have been listening.

Even if you don’t believe in the whole spiritual aspect of a guardian angel you can still have one. Your guardian angel can be an actual person. They can be the friend that holds you up when you can’t stand anymore. They can be the parent that listens to you and makes your problems ok. They can be the teacher that supports you and encourages you to do the things that you really want to do. They come in all shapes, sexes, sizes, and species… They are everywhere.

I believe that I have a spiritual guardian angel and many, MANY real life guardian angels. Who are your guardian angels?

She Slipped Away

2007-07-18T21:54:00.000-07:00

She wasn’t very tall but her personality stood out in the crowd. Most of her life she was pretty shy. As she grew older she came out of that shell and let her random, dorky self come out.

She met her husband around the same time she had crushes on two other men. She was a student in college and her three crushes at the time were all her professors. Nothing happened of course during her time there. They were just harmless crushes.

Her husband was a tall man with a killer smile. He had dark curly brown hair and the bluest eyes. One of the many qualities that she loved was the fact that he could make her laugh. He was very playful and always had interesting stories or life lessons to offer. He was very passionate about the work he did. He loved music and wanted to share his knowledge of music with others. He was an all around nice guy who just happened be tardy a bit. During the time she had him for his class they talked about music and food.

A few years go by and she is volunteering at a local festival. She is carrying a box full or papers and other supplies to one of the other tents and then she crashes hard into someone. That someone turns out to be her future husband and he still had that killer smile. They talk for hours playing catch up and much to her surprise he had asked her out. Of course she said yes and after a couple of years of dating they finally tied the knot. The wedding was everything she could have dreamed of and more.

The wind was cool on the bright and sunny day. They all stood outside on an extremely emerald hillside in Ireland. She got the man she wanted and she was working steadily in the profession that she had always pictured herself in. Two years later they were blessed with the birth of their first son. He looked just like his father and had his killer smile. Over the years they ended up with four children, two boys and two girls.

She started feeling sick and ignored it since she thought it would pass. When it only got worse after two weeks she went to the doctor and discovered she had cancer. She decided to do the chemo and radiation. The treatments were only making things worse because they discovered that she was allergic to the medication. Without the treatments the cancer would spread and inevitably she would die.

Since there was nothing left to do for her she lived life as much as she could before being hospitalized. She called in everyone that she wanted to say goodbye to. One by one they showed up. Each one become harder and harder to say goodbye to. The last two were people from her past back when she was in school. She confessed about her crushes and they joked for a bit before she said goodbye.

The final night came and she looked over at her husband and asked him to lie next to her. She knew her time was soon and wanted to be as close to her husband as she could. She put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. He brushed her hair and held her close like he did years ago. When he felt she wasn’t breathing anymore tears fell from his eyes and he kissed her head. He held her tighter and whispered “Goodbye” and then he slid out and called the doctors.

The good die young and are missed terribly. She got all that she dreamed of and thought she would never get. If she had it her way she would have spent more time with her loved ones but she was glad she got the time she did. The tears that fall only water the ground for the new lives to come.

Wow, Such A Young Little Thing

2007-07-18T20:10:00.000-07:00

I was looking for photos of my Uncle John and I came across some old photos of myself and I thought, “Wow, look at my hair!” I had such strange hair. When I signed on to my myspace today I noticed that I had a new blog post up from one of my friends. She had a very insightful post about change.

Basically it said that everyone changes and that sometimes it’s a good thing and sometimes it is bad. It got me thinking about how much I have or have not changed. I have changed very much in my appearance. I no longer put my hair in a side ponytail, mostly because my hair is not long enough to even put up. My theory now is that if my hair is long enough to be put in a ponytail then it is too long.

I got my hair trimmed today by my sister Connie. In our Native American beliefs, when someone dies you must cut a lock of your hair. So, my sister went around the house today collecting everyone locks.

Looking back at those photos and reading my friends post made me think about the kind of person I am now. I honestly think I am a good person. I could always use some improvement on things but I don’t think I am cruel or horrible.

All in all I think I have changed for the better. If I can take anything from the last couple of years I have changed for the absolute better and shall continue to change for the better.

Prophecy

2007-07-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

John A. Shemayme was born on Lawton, OK and when he turned four years old his family moved out to the bright sunny state of California. Though I don't know much about this man he is my grandmother's brother and all my life I have called him 'Uncle John'. Sadly, he died on the 14th. My aunt is writing his obituary right now as I type this. I have found out that he went to school for architecture and that he was on the movie 'Prophecy' with his brother Steve Shemayme.

The photo of the movie poster sparked memories of me arranging the VHS collection in the living room so it looked nice and neat when I had to clean up. I never understood why we had that movie until right now. Both my grandmother's brothers were in that film. They weren't starring roles or anything but they were in it. And the film has 3 out of 5 stars on netflix.

My uncle John died of complications with pneumonia. He will be buried in Oklahoma with his mother and right now at the moment everyone is getting their things together for the trip out. Unfortunately, I can't go out there cause I have work.

I did not speak with him much but it was always nice to see him walking down the street or see him on the bus when I got on. He would always advise me to keep working hard in school and other advice like that. He will be missed and I hope he has found all his loved ones and is in a happier place.

R.I.P. Uncle John.

It’s All In The Smile

2007-07-11T20:32:00.000-07:00

My version of falling in love.

I have never been in love but I think I've come as close to it as I can and I like to call them extreme crushes.

I was sitting there lost in my thoughts. I see you, I see you pass by the window. The door opens and you smile. It's all in the smile; it's always in the smile. It was at that moment I fell for you. With introductions going around the class I just remember being nervous as you reached me.

Getting to work as fast as I could, I try to occupy my mind with other thoughts that weren't you. After an hour your voice breaks my concentration. I can feel every fiber of my being tightening. I struggled to get out the words of "I'm fine". The fact that you even wanted to talk to me made my skin blush.

As time went on I saw your smile more. With each smile I was falling deeper and deeper into this pit that felt so good. I could speak to you without stumbling and I could actually hold a conversation. I could make you laugh, and I tried as much as I could just to see that heart-breaking smile again.

Looking into your shinning eyes behind the spectacles. Getting lost in those eyes. I talked to you more than I actually did the work. I always managed to finish the job though. You always made the end of my day. End of the term came the first hug. I was walking in the clouds. It was unexpected but it just felt so good. My smile never faded for the rest of the night. Even now, the thought of it brings back that same smile.

Next term, I had you again. It was a relief to see that smile again. Oh, how I missed that smile. But, this term went by too fast. I was leaving that place and when I told you, your eyes lost their sparkle. A smile was painted on and your voice lowered. My eyes lowered at the thought of having to say goodbye to you. I dreaded that day that I would eventually say the words.

The day I had been dreading for months now has come. As usual you were there smiling and warming up my heart. Then the time came, and things turned cold. It was just you and I. Looking into your eyes one last time, it took all that I had inside not to fall apart in front of you. I didn't want to say it and I didn't want you to say it. You put your arms around me. For that moment, which I prayed would last an eternity, I held on to you and you held on to me. It hurt to pull apart, it hurt even worse to look at you. You started speaking the words I didn't want you speak. We walked together to the elevator and we talked for as long as we could. It was my floor and we walked off together. The distance grew between us and we said the words that I never wanted to say to you.

Once I walked out the door and out of your sight I couldn't breathe. I couldn't hold back the floods and it all poured out. My heart broke and I missed you. I still miss you. So I say again the words I never wanted to say, Goodbye. Goodbye to the man who made me feel so good.

Breathed In, Breathed Out

2007-07-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

Here is a personal essay I wrote on my "near death" experience.

“Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breath out. Breathe in…” Words so brilliantly said by the band Bush. Those words are what helped me get through a scary point in my life. Pain that seemed to never subside and grow with each and every passing second. I could feel my life passing away and I cried.

One day I was fine, I was normal. The only thing was that I was completely exhausted from the lack of sleep the night before. I went to my class fieldtrip and managed not to pass out. Once my friend dropped me off at my house, I decided I was going to take a nap before I went with my sister to a meeting. My eyes closed for the rest of the night. I barely remember telling my sister to leave without me. All I knew was that, the next morning I felt as if I were paralyzed.

The room was sweltering and my head was throbbing. I slowly sat up, and I felt as if I was on one of those spinning carnival rides or something like that. I had no energy in me to really move, and I could not see straight. I could not lie down because the pain would mount in my head, and if I stood up, the world around me danced in a circle. I could feel the pain in my stomach rising. I breathed in, breathed out and managed to take in some cool water while I was at it. The pain grew as my stomach twisted, and my head pounded inside my skull. The pain became a scorching burst of vomit rushing up my throat. I stumbled quickly to the bathroom toilet and let it all erupt. My stomach was furious with me for some reason, and when the hot lava of vomit finished, my stomach kept pushing me to push something out, but there was nothing. It would not end until one last but of saliva or vomit came out. I gasped for as much air as I could, and I prayed for who ever would listen to make the hell go away. Crawling back to the hot coals that I called a bed, I breathed in, breathed out.

The pit that is my stomach did not agree with me; It made me feel as if I were going to throw up all that it held. My head was pounding like a constant drumbeat. Sleep was begging me to give in and let it take hold. A wobbly trip to the bathroom became a constant in my daily and nightly routine. How I managed to get what sleep I did I have no idea. I was awake for most of the night because my head thundered so loudly it made my ears have a constant ringing.

Looking in the mirror at a ghostly sight of myself made me scared. I have always had a light complexion, but what I saw in the mirror was not who I was at all. I was pale and thinner than I once was. Too weak to move, I dragged myself to bed and I cried. I cried and cried and wondered what was wrong with me. I made up my mind that I was dying in one way or another, and I cried harder because I was not ready to die. I still had so much to live for. The fear of death has always been a phobia of mine, and I was terrified of what I thought was death coming towards me. During a trip to the toilet I cried and said, “Please… Make it stop… Please… I don’t want to feel this anymore.” Sick of it all, I told my mother to take me to the hospital. I sat in the emergency room for seven hours and I was given a bed to lie on with an IV in my hand. The room was cold, and it was hard to relax when so many people around me were suffering. After talking to the Registered Nurse-Practitioner, he informed me that I was going through migraines.

I never knew migraines could put someone through so much pain and for so long. My near-death experience was not near-death at all. Although I certainly felt as if I were dying, I had no other information at the time to prove me wrong. I still fear death because I do not want to let go of so many things that I hold dear to my heart in this world. Though I suffered through that time, I am somewhat glad I went through it because I became aware of what meant the most to me in life, and that realization got me to go out and experience things for myself and not to stay at home. I learned to finally live.

Pop

2007-07-08T21:42:00.000-07:00

“Do you ever wonder why, this music gets you hot? It takes you on a ride…” – N’sync

Just yesterday I was sitting here on this lovely Mac computer instant messaging my dear friend Justine when she sent me a few youtube links. Much to my surprise when I clicked on them I realized I was watching very OLD videos from N’sync and the Backstreet Boys. I just have to say, videos back in the mid 90s, not to mention the European releases, were not all that good. Kind of cheesy in fact, but still it brought back an array of memories for me.

Almost 21 now I look back to my pre-teen years and I remember the songs that I loved so dearly at the time. The words are just complete crap. I mean, if any guy really said the kind of things they said to a woman they would either get:

A. Slapped
B. Kneed in the crotch
C. Laughed at
D. All of the above and then some.

For example:

“If you want it to be good girl, get yourself a bad boy” – Backstreet Boys

Come on! Haha. Even though I think those songs are pretty lame, I still love them. They do have pretty catchy rhythms and melodies. Even though I don’t dance, not in public anyway, they make me dance in my seat in front of this very screen.

I am not ashamed to admit I was an avid teenybopper. I bought all the magazines for the delicious posters that became like wallpaper. Out of all the boy groups out there I have to say my heart belonged to the Backstreet Boys. Those boys were the first to bring back that whole boy group thing and they did it right. They can really sing their butts off! I was a Howie Dorough fan; up until he straightened his ever-growing long hair then I left him for another longhaired man named David Eric Grohl.

The song Pop by N’sync has been stuck in my head since yesterday and I blame Justine for that. I love how even the silliest of songs can bring back the best of memories. The songs from my past were fun and they still are pretty fun. It was nice to look back on those fun days. But, I am glad of how much I grew from that period. Apart of me will always been a teenybopper at heart.

BSB FOREVER!

Cause I Don't Care...

2007-07-06T22:39:00.000-07:00

I love how you're not even here for a whole day and you can pass judgment on the whole family and say we don't care. I love how you don't even stand up for yourself and your family when you know what is being said is hurtful and wrong. I love how you can't even come to our aid when we are always there to yours. I love how you all can sit there infront of the TV and act like nothing happened. I love how you can give a two shits on something that meant a lot to me. I love how you expect me to show up to your events but you can't even show up to mine. I just love how you knock me down lower into this pit of hell that I am in. I love how you make my eyes swell and flow out the burning salt waters. I love how you make me wish I could disappear. I love how you make me want to walk away and never look back. I love going into a place that I loathe just to keep up with the bills. I love that I can't leave that hell because the place I really want to be won't be enough to survive on. I just love that with everything that my flesh and bloods and I do means nothing to you. Because, after all we don't care remember? I am just in love aren't I?

I Bleed It Out...

2007-07-01T23:28:00.001-07:00

So yea, I worked again and like the past two days not much to report. Work is meh. lol.

After work I went to In N' Out and I got the #1. Today was SO busy at work.. Worse than the normal sundays. Dumb customers.. lol.

So yea this is just a quick post because nothing interesting happend. Take care!

THIS... Is A Late Parrot!

2007-06-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

Hola everyone,

So yea, I worked again today. I get there and when I go to the CSM, Customer Service Manager, podium and when I get there I get sent to Furnature to zone. Which isn't so bad cause I don't want to be on a register... BUT the furnature department was a MESS! I spent two hours there trying to make it somewhat presentable. Then after that I had to go on a register so there isn't much to report on. Sorry.

I come home and watch some of the Dodger game, they lost. Then I went on the net like I am now. That is pretty much it.. I ate a King Taco burrito. YUM! That shall be all. Take care!

p.s. I have watched that Parrot Sketch about 10 times atleast since I have found it hehehehe.

Meh

2007-06-29T22:41:00.000-07:00

There's isn't much to report today...

I just worked and it was just blah. Nothing exciting ever happens at work so.. Yeah..

My mom made floutas for dinner and it was good. I bought a tank top today. It has green, brown and yellow polka dots on it. So cute.

I was checking out a video on youtube today and I took off my headphones and turn around to see 3 firemen behind me looking at my uncle.. Talk about a "WTF??" moment. My uncle had fallen and he asked my mom and grandmother to call the ambulence for him. It was all pretty weird..

Watched some of Me Neighbor Totoro and now I am here. I want to watch Dirty Jobs but people are watching tv.. BOO!! take care people!

p.s. Thanks Gina for suggesting Mew to me. They are the best!

Sun Burned... LA Film Fest!

2007-06-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

Hola everyone!

So today I picked up my check from work and I got sun burned.. It sucks... I gotta work tomorrow.. Bah..

I went to the LA Film Fest today with my friend Maryann to see the film Does your soul have a cold?. Overallit was a pretty good film. It was very informative and it was interesting to see depression in another culture. One part that stands out in my mind was when one of the people goes to take his pills and he pulls out this big box full of all kinds of anti-depressants... C-R-A-Z-Y. What I didn't realize was I walked right by the director, Mike Mills, when I walked in to the theatre. They had a nice Q&A session afterwards and it was a pretty cool experience. The whole atmosphere for the film fest was awesome! I got the same feeling I got when I first walked on to the land of Chicago, Illinois. It was such a wonderful feeling. I felt, free. Weird I know... But, I got a taste of a world that I would love to be apart of. I want to volunteer next year for the film fest, so who wants to volunteer with me?!? I think it would be so great to be apart of that. I don't care about the fact that it is a lot of work, I just want to be apart of something that is so inspirering.

On the way home I noticed that they had a store out there called The Writer's Store and I definately want to go there when I get a chance... Maybe in the upcoming weeks.. Just go on the bus and go to Westwood and check out the area and soak up the scenary. Who wants to go with me?? Come on.. You know you are all up for an adventure! :D

Check out this site:

http://www.knockknock.biz/home.php

Tons of funny stuff there. Here is my favorite sketch from Monty Python Enjoy!:

How Did That Get There??

2007-06-27T21:53:00.000-07:00

Here is a survey I got from a friend:

1. Do you know anyone who has gotten an abortion?
Si

2. Last awkward moment?
Probably at Denny's or Big Lots today haha

3. Who do you find yourself crushing on currently?
People >: D muahaha

4. Have you ever fallen backwards down a set of stairs?
No, but I know someone who has. lol

5. Ever been to a friend's house and starved the whole time?
A while back yea.

6. Ever found more than a dollar in a random place?
Yea, apparently a wallet carries bills.. haha

7. Name someone close to you who smokes cigarettes?
Mother, 3 Aunts, Uncle and my grandfather

8. Name 3 things that everyone knows about you?
I'm a nerd, I am a dork and I am odd.

9. When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
I usually try to work things out unless it is better that they leave.

10. Have you ever been corrected at your workplace?
Yea

11. Has anyone ever been more important to you than a family member?
In a way yes cause I consider them just like family

12. Do you still see any of your ex's?
Nope

13. Last time you smiled?
Just now

14. What do you do when a telemarketer calls?
Don't answer

15. Would life be the same without alcohol?
Yea because well I don't drink the stuff so I am not missing it :D

16. Would you go a month without washing your hair to save a loved one?
Yea.. ::shudders::

17. Would you cry if you found out you were pregnant?
I would be like "WHAT THE ::BEEP BEEP BEEEEEEEEEP::" if it were at this moment.

18. Have you had "the best night of your life"?
I have had quite a few

19. Do you think your current pets will be alive ten years from now?
Maybe

20. Have you ever had sex in the bathroom?
Nope

21. When was your last bubble bath?
A year ago. I don't have a bath tub anymore so I shower.

22. Do you know anyone by the name of Dennis?
Yea lol

23. What was the last thing you ate?
Sausage.

what happened to # 24? It didn't like you so it ran away

25. Name five things you did yesterday?
Washed my bedding
Went online
Watched Dirty Jobs
Talked to Marina
Listen to music

26. Last time you consumed alcohol?
Never

27. What color phone do you have?
Silver and Black

28. How many kids do you want to have?
3 - 4

29. What outfit do you have on at this exact moment?
Jean shorts and my start shirt with a green dress over that.

30. What color are your eyes?
Hazel/Green

31. Have you ever been in love?
Nah just big crushes

32. When was the last time you drank a martini?
Never

33. Did you do any chores today?
Washed clothes and loaded the dish washer

34. What are you doing tomorrow?
Going to pick up my check, go to Jamba Juice, and then going to the LA Film Fest. WOO!

35. Do you know someone who likes you?
As in like romantically? No, but please do tell me. :D But as a person sure I know lots of people who like me.

36. Have you ever had a friend named "Fred, Frank, or Felipe"?
No

37. Name three people you met in the past two months?
HmMmMm Well, I'll make it 3 months: Natasha, Mia and Art

38. What color is your hair?
Right now it is Blue/Black but it is naturally light brown

39. Do you like toast?
Sometimes

40. Have you ever said "I Love You" and not meant it?
No that is mean.

41. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
No I do not.

# 42? Stop scaring away the questions!

43. Have you ever been teased really bad?
Occasionally

44. Do you still have feelings for anyone from your past?
Sort of but not really.

45. Did you enjoy your last kiss?
It's been so long...

46. Do you believe in ghosts?
Yea

47? So the ghosts scared away 47

48. Do you have a lot of female friends?
Si

49. Do you have a friend with benefits?
Nope

50. Who was the last person you drove with?
Marina

Ok now that the survey is out of the way we can get staight to the post. WOO! Well, today Marina and I had lunch at Denny's. Not our Denny's mind you, but a Denny's. It was our first and last time eating there together. Why? Cause our waiter decided to give himself a $10 tip but you know Marina. She ain't gonna have none of that shiznat! So I took two evil army things for the kids.. haha.

Marina gave me a beloved plastic Oscar and I shall cherish it forever haha. After we left Denny's we went to Big Lots. OoOo the fun we had in there. Quite interesting really haha. We walked in to see if we could find any doll hats, none were found by the way, and we found a bounty of other cheap but funny objects. We found an energy drink that was on clearance for .25 and a mood pen. lol. We had a few phone calls and stuff but that didn't stop us from playing with all the hardware and tools haha.

Marina invited me to a nice little gathering to the Olive Garden next Monday with her high school friends and I am to hang out with her and her friend Ashley on the 4th and pray we don't burn down her house. (): D . I think that is all that really happened today.. Take care everyone one! Enjoy this lovely photo from Granpa's Revenge:

Howdy All!

2007-06-26T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hola everyone!

Yes, it's me again. Here to give a daily update of what I did over the course of my day. Well, I awoke around 8 am to my sister's cat's fleas crawling and biting me. So, I took all my bedding and washed it. Then I fell asleep on the couch in the living room until around 10:30am. Then I got on the computer and did my normal routine of answering e-mails and chatting with a few friends.

I spent the majority of the day watching the Dirty Jobs marathon on the Discovery Channel. That show is so entertaining. I had a good laugh at it and the host, Mike Rowe, really captures and keeps your attention. My friend Justine sent me a couple of songs today. One being, Hot/Cold (Darling, Don't) - Strata. It is very pretty and I highly suggest you all go out and check it out.

Tomorrow I will be going to Denny's with my dear friend Marina. It should be pretty interesting. I am not sure if I am going to be able to make it to my cousin Ryan's gig at BB Kings at Universal City Walk tomorrow night. I don't really have a way of getting there and I don't have anyone to go with. Still trying to work out plans for that LA Film Fest thing. Again, if anyone else is going let me know! It would be nice to see some familiar faces.

I guess that will be all for now. Not much to report on these days. Take care people!

I Will Never Let You Fall

2007-06-25T17:17:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone!

So yea, today was ok. I woke up and I washed my grandmother's bedding and I had to listen to Cartoon Network all day... It is enough to drive anyone batty.. Makes me wish school more cause atleast it gave me something to do. I looked around for some more jobs to apply at.

I was talking to my friend Maryann about seeing a film at the La Film Fest on Friday. One that I want to see is Does Your Soul Have a Cold?. Doesn't a title like that make you want to see it? I know I do. lol. It is at 9:30pm at the Mann Festival Theatre. So hopefully she says yes to that. So if I go to that and you want to see it too let me know so I can say Hey! :D

What else to write about? I am looking for some new music to listen to. I need something to get me out of this bored funk. Well, that is all. BYE!

Graduation and Ghost Rider

2007-06-24T16:57:00.000-07:00

Hola everyone!

So yea, yesterday was my graduation from American InterContinental University. I got my Bachelor of Fine Arts!

So, this is how it all went down... From what I can remember anyway.

It all started at 5 am when I woke up to start getting ready for the big day. Not too long after that my sister Janice woke up and she helped me do my hair and make-up. I admit I was really nervous so when I arrived to the actual place of the graduation waiting for Marina I was pretty anxious. I think she could tell cause I was texting her non-stop haha.

When she arrived we checked in and then we waited by our little department flag with the one other Media Production student, Natasha. After a little more waiting one more student came and then we had to move to another place. After a while of waiting we finally marched in and it really was a blur cause it went by so fast. I'll try to post more details cause right now it's all a mesh of blah.

Afterwards I said goodbye to all the faculty and it was a nice but sad moment for me. Once I said all my goodbyes I went home for a little lunch thing with some family. Around 5 pm and I went to Knott's Berry Farm with Marina, her bother Auggie and his wife Angela. Overall it was a really fun and I hope to do it again but for a longer time haha. I just know I will NEVER go on Ghost Rider again. That ride really messed me up. My back, neck and head hurt so bad. Stupid ride! I am off to get some food from Petrillo's cause I am hungry. Bye everyone!

I Hope You Know...

2007-06-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,

How are you all? Me? Well, I am in a bitter sweet position in my life. After nearly 3 years in school I am finally only about 2 days away from graduation. So, why am I not jumping for joy? I'm saying goodbye to a chapter in my life that has been well, a pretty damn good chapter. It got really good towards the end! Don't you hate when that happens?? I just hope that the new chapter in my crazy novel of a life is as good if not, then BETTER than the last one.

I am not a Fergie fan... But, I do happen to like one of her songs and it really has been getting me through this bitter sweet time. The song is Big Girls Don't Cry. Here are some lines from the song that really pulled me into it:

"I hope you know, I hope you know. That this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I we've got some straightenin' out to do."

"It's time to be a big girl now and big girls don't cry"

Those two lines really hit me. I have been so down over the past week or so that I noticed there were people asking me "What's wrong?" and I would lie and say "Nothing". It really is something for me to work out on my own. For so long school has become my place of escape. I could retreat to school and keep busy with the projects and not have to focus on some personal issues at home. It really was my safe haven and now that I am graduating, that safe haven is gone. Not to mention there are a few people who I met in the past 6 months that I have really grown fond of and that I am honestly going to miss seeing them almost on a daily basis. Such is life, I can always look back with fond memories and remember how much they have touched me.

Now the hunt for a job in the career that I actually want to do begins. I have applied to one place already. The one good thing from having all this free time on my hands is that I actually have time to write now. And you know what, I have a lot of stuff to let out in the form of a script. I think it will be a VERY theraputic thing for me. It will help me take the first steps in progressing on to the next chapter. I think one of the most important things for a writer is to be unapologetic of the stuff they write. You wrote it so stand by it. People are not always going to agree with it, be comfortable with it or something else but it is something from you. Speaking for myself, with this future project I will be working on it will get out a lot of emotions I have been feeling and you know why should I apologize for it? I am only human and I feel like it's a step towards the good, the better.

Now on to the discussion on Grandpa's Revenge. I know I have neglected you all on this project. I have teased you all with little or no details and well, here it all is!

The idea spurred from a ride home in Marina's car from a class field trip to the Kodak Store on Santa Monica. I believe we were listening to Star 98.7 and this woman had just won tickets to something on the radio. The woman was so excited and the next thing we heard was "WOO oh! I almost got into an accident!" and the radio DJ responded "Don't go getting into an accident on the radio now!" or something like that. After Marina and I heard that we just laughed because we imagened seeing something like that in a movie and how great it would be. I know I would be on the floor laugh if I saw that. And we came to the conclusion that we would write some kind of script with that happening. Not too long after that, I think maybe a day later or something we were in the car on our way to school when this old man goes speeding past Marina and yells out "Slow down Grandpa!" and we noticed he had on this funny hat. When we get to school we saw a classmate of ours, named Benny Flores, and he was wearing the EXACT same hat that Grandpa was wearing and me made the joke that Benny stole Grandpa's hat and thus the story for Grandpa's Revenge was born.

We went to Denny's later that night, and many nights after that, to discuss more ideas for the script. We thought it would be the best thing if we could write a script and actually shoot it. We really had our hearts set out on casting the real Benny for the character Benny in the film. Unfortunately, we were unable to get Benny for the projects and our hopes of making this film a live action film were crushed.. So, we thought maybe we could turn it into an audio project, something you would hear on an old time radio show before television came around. As time went by we discovered that the project would be pretty boring if it was just audio. So, one night as I am sitting here on this computer lurking the net Marina IMs me and sends me this link to this video on youtube. It turns out to be this mock film of Pirates of the Caribbean and it was of Barbies on fishing line. It was pretty bad, so bad it was good. After watching that we thought "Why can't we do that for Grandpa's Revenge?" We worked up the courage to ask the teacher for our Senior Seminar II class, also the department chair for Media Production at school, Mark Lowentrout, if we could shoot the films with dolls. To our surprise he said we could and encouraged us to do so.

So with his blessing we began the post-production process to the film. We need to get the actual script done so that meant we had to sit down and actually write. Which is much harder than we both expected. It is much easier to say something would be funny than it is to actually put it down on to paper, let alone to fit it in the story and have it work. Once the script was done we realized we had no ending. So we headed back to Denny's for our sugar, caffeine and whatever else is in those drinks there to think of an ending. While we were on our sugar highs we were joking around about how funny it would be to have one of our professors, Professor Aleem Hossain, playing with the dolls at the end. Then we realized that it would actually be a pretty good ending to the crazy film we came up with. The next thing was actually going up to the professor and asking him if he would do that for us, you know.. play with dolls. Now, I for one was scared because though he was kind enough to agree to lend his voice for one of the characters I did not think he would be interested in going that far. Since we figured none of the other professors would be willing to do it I was elected to ask Aleem if he would since I had him for a class anyway. I was scared out of my mind for fear of a big fat NO. Once I got him alone and I asked him, he surprisingly said yes. Now I wanted to jump for joy when I heard that yes come out of his mouth! We had an ending and an actor for the ending. We pretty much got all of the faculty to lend their voice, and or likeness, for the film.

Now we had to come up with a pitch, presentation and a folder for the project. We presented it to the class expecting people to not get the film and completely reject it. Oh on contrare, they loved it and were actually excited about seeing the end result. Marina and I then celebrated at... You guessed it Denny's! Then came the grueling task of scheduling, scheduling, scheduling... It wasn't that hard but still haha. We were unsure of how to direct some of the actors. We were worried that we would really have to coach one of the actors. Since the only example we had of him was of this audio project called The Invasion. So when the time came to record Professor Nathan Marshall's dialogue we were blown away by his performance. We had a hard time NOT laughing while he was recording his dialogue. He did a phenominal job! I do feel bad for thinking otherwise, but like I said, the only example we had of his acting was from that other project... haha. Infact everyone did a great job with their dialogue. It was very refreshing to have such talented people to work with.

Over the course of the past three months I would show Aleem what footage Marina and I had and with each time he became more excited for us and wanted to see the end result. It was so great to have someone so enthusiastic about the project as we were. It certainly made us enjoy it more. The time came to shoot the final scene and it was nothing less than fantastic. Aleem did an amazing job, as did Mark. We only had to shoot his reactions twice since he did so well. There was one take that I really wanted to use of Aleem and Mark but I just could not use cause it did not work with the scene... But, I will be putting that up so you all can see it cause it was a good one! Ha ha.

I am at school and I notice a flyer hanging about the first annual Media Production Awards and I thought "Why don't Marina and I enter this? I think we could finish by the deadline and it would have a good chance." So I call Marina and she said yes to entering Grandpa's Revenge. I put in the script for best screenplay and then Marina and I worked our behinds off to get the film edited by June 1st for the awards. We got it done and then we found ourselves done WAY ahead of schedule. Grandpa's Revenge won best screenplay but not for best narrative. Still a big achievment for us and we were very gracious. Once we screened Grandpa's Revenge we got a very positive responce. It was nice and very rewarding to see something we were so passionate about get such a positive responce. I can't wait to show you all the film! Keep an eye out for it cause it will be posted soon!

Ok I think that will be all for now. I have more to write about but this thing is already a novel. So you all take care and keep a look out for the next post! BYE!!

Writer's Block: Words that you love and hate

2007-06-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

What are your favorite and least favorite words? Any reasons why?

All The Same

2007-06-10T00:17:00.001-07:00

WOAH! It's been WAY too long since I've left a decent post. I appologize. I have been VERY very busy.

Lately I have been trying NOT to think about the upcoming graduation... Why? It just depresses me and honestly I really break down in tears thinking about all the people I am going to miss. It sucks. Time is going by too fast and it really is quite sad. I haven't really had any time for me to sit back and enjoy the time I have with certain people before I leave them. I have too many projects to work on and bah.. Not a good time for me. If you know me then you know I have my depression periods and I have been stuck in one longer than I want right now. I would post more details about Grandpa's Revenge and stuff but I really don't have time to do that.. atleast not yet. I will get busy on my script for Script Frenzy soon cause it's something I personally need to accomplish. Sorry it was a lame post. But have a good one. Will post a better one later!

p.s. check out the song "All The Same" by the Sick Puppies. Very good.

And You....

2007-05-14T14:34:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone,

Today so far has been pretty neat. haha. Now Marina and I have 2 of the actor's dialogue done and in the can. :D Both actors did an AMAZING job! It's really hard to pick which take for the film. Tomorrow we will hopefully get the rest of the cast. Should be interesting. Oh yea and in between that we plan on shooting some scenes with the dolls while on campus. Haha. If we didn't already get funny looks we will now. Muahaha. Oh yea, I am talking about Grandpa's Revenge. I am thinking of making a page for the film on myspace but I am not sure. We'll see what happens. For sure we will have it up on youtube. Must get release forms.... hehe. Here is a nice little survey for you all to read. BYE!

PART 1:THE BEGINNING
__________________________________
Were you a planned baby?
I don't think so.

Were you the first?
Nah

Were your parents married when you were born?
I think so.

What is your birth date?
July 30th, 1986

PART 2:
__________________________________

Parents married or divorced?
Separated but pretty much divorced.

An only child?
Nope. I have two sisters.

If you have siblings are you oldest, middle, or youngest?
I am in the middle. Middle children rock!

Which parent do you get along with best?
Since I don't talk to Pa I will have to say my mom.

PART 3: THE FRIENDS
__________________________________

Do you have more than one best friend?
Yes, I have a large group of best friends.

Do you share the same interests?
Pretty much. We are all unique though.

Which friend can you tell everything to?
Pretty much all of them.

PART 4: YOUR PERSONALITY
__________________________________

Do you have low self-esteem?
I have low self-esteem on certain things about me. Mostly just like the looks and stuff but everything else is all good.

Are you happy right now?
Si. Very happy!

Do you live life to the fullest?
Lately, Yes I have been.

PART 5: APPEARANCE
_________________________________

Are you comfortable with the way you look?
I am meh about it. But atleast I am comfortable.

Describe your hair?
Short, no longer blue-black, hair... ::Cries::

How do you dress?
Jeans and a t-shirt.

Were you a strange child?
I probably was one fun kid hahaha

Do you have the same friends?
No

Are you scared of growing up old and alone?
Yea. ::shudders::

Do you want to get married?
Someday. It would be fantastically nice :)

PART 8: THE OUTDOORS
__________________________________
Indoors or outdoors?
Both

Right season?
Winter and Summber

Do you like walking in the rain?
Only when I choose to walk in the rain. Not when I am on my way home somewhere and then it just starts raining.

PART 9: FOOD
__________________________________

Are you a vegetarian?
Nope

Favorite food?
Italian. MmMmMm

What food makes you want to gag?
Umm Onion Rings and a number of other things.

What is your favorite dessert?
Strawberry Cheesecake. YUM!

PART 10: RELATIONSHIPS AND LOVE ♥
__________________________________

Are you single or taken?
Single

Have you ever been in love?
The closest thing to love I have come is having deep crushes and yes I currently have one. :)

What's This??

2007-04-30T18:22:00.001-07:00

I haven't left a decent blog in a while.. So why start now? lol. I kid. HOLA!

Well, I have been VERY busy with school with projects such as Grandpa's Revenge and the live action version of The Invasion I have a ton of work to get done. Not to mention I have to write a story and get 82 sounds. EEPPPP!!!! But I am not stressing. I am loving all of it. Why? Cause I believe in all these projects and I think they are fan-flipping-tastic!

Sorry this is so short, I have to get to class soon. But... If you haven't heard Fall Out Boy's cover of What's This? from the Nightmare Before Christmas CD.. Then step on it! It makes me giddy :D BYE!

LOL

2007-04-24T00:10:00.000-07:00

::faints::

2007-04-16T17:02:00.000-07:00

My friend.. haha. What are the two things that I love on a guy in the whole world? Any guesses? No?

A. Glasses
B. Argyle

Now, today a certain someone wore those things today and I wanted to faint where I stood... He looked good.. Really good.. haha. Damn him! Ugh.. ok just wanted to share that little bit of info with you all. BYE!

Jes, Jen, Alisa, Kara and anyone else who kind of knows who I am talking about I need to talk to you to give you the full info!

Update

2007-04-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

So, it's been a few days since my last post. Sorry. Been pretty busy with school and everything. With it being my last quarter and all.. EEEPPP!!!

So yea, My classes are pretty cool and I have been doing my best to make sure I stay on top of everything.

Lately I have been getting into webseries on youtube. The two that I have gotten into so far are: Chad Vader and We Need Girlfriends. Those shows are fantabulous and I HIGHLY suggest you all check out those shows cause they rock. If you just don't feel like searching for them here are the first episodes of the shows:

Chade Vader

We Need Girlfriends

To see the rest you all are just going to have to look them up :D It will be worth it I promise!

So, I found out that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs A. have a new song out called Sealing and B. are going to be playing Lollapalooza!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! I am so going this year! It shall be freaking awesome!

I have been working on the short script for Grandpa's Revenge and the feature. But, mostly on the short with my pal and fellow partner filmmaker Marina :D It shall be greatness I promise! hehehe. More about my future film projects later as I am being lazy and want to watch more webisode. BYE ALL!!

OUCH

2007-04-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

Plastic bags, water and parking lots make a harmful mix!

Well, I go to get the dye and some shampoo that I think will keep the dye in my hair longer than a couple of days. After I buy the stuff I am at the car and I realize I am still holding the shampoo and I did not pay for it.. So I quickly turn to go and pay for it and I slip and Fall right on my knee.

It hurts like hell.. ugh.. but here is a freaking hilarious video Justine showed me!

sites

2007-04-06T14:06:00.001-07:00

http://www.mcheathers.com/GB4fun.htm
http://gerardbutlerfan.hu/e107_plugins/coppermine_menu/displayimage.php?album=41&pos=1

Please Tell Me That You're Alright!

2007-04-05T21:52:00.000-07:00

143 :D

Books That I Want and More!

2007-04-05T11:51:00.000-07:00

Here a few more books I want to buy:

Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill
Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia by Elizabeth Gilbert
Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult

Ok, so today I am going to the movies with my friend Marina. Should be fun :D. Um, not much else to write on... ::thinks:: Um.. HmMm Oh I would like to see 300 and Phantom of the Opera again. Cause well, I want to hehehe. I gotta go get ready! Take care!

HAPPY CHEVELLE DAY!!!

2007-04-03T14:10:00.001-07:00

Ok, so I have been lacking on posting. I am on vacation after all.. muhahaha.

Today is CHEVELLE DAY WEEE!!! I have my copy of Vena Sera and I loving it! I am also going to watch them on Fuse today as well. Yesterday was the best! I got my copy of Vena Sera early cause I preordered it. Then I dyed my hair and I called in Rockline and got to speak to Chevelle. :D I was one happy camper yesterday.

I suggest you all go out to Best Buy and get a copy or two of Vena Sera. I also suggest you buy the album on iTunes cause there is a kick ass song on there as well.

Today I bought my plane tickets to Chicago. WOO!!! Who is up for a Hair dying/Coupling party?? Anyone?? hehehehe. Life is wonderful. I hope it lasts for a while. Take care people!

Dreams and Freak Outs

2007-03-29T21:43:00.001-07:00

Ok, you know how you have a dream about someone and then you wake up and then you go back to sleep and then you dream something else?

well, I had a dream about this guy and I woke up thinking "WTF?" and then I went back to sleep and it went back into the same dream about that guy but at a different part. Then I woke up like "WTH???" and I just stayed up and checked my e-mail and low and behold... I got an e-mail from that guy!

It completely freaked me out so much I had to get away from the computer.. It was a real OOOeeeOOO moment. Not cool.. haha.

So here is the dream:

Ok I was meeting that guy and his sister and some other people I didn't know somewhere. I walk in and I am early and I sit down and his sister walks in and we say hello and she sits in the chair next to me. Then the guy and the other people walk in and sit in the chairs across the room. And it was quiet for a long time. Then the guy was like "You can sit closer you know" haha. So his sister and I move closer to him and then that's when I woke up the first time.

I go back to sleep and then all of a sudden we were all at this dinning room table eating and chatting. There was this woman sitting across from me and then the guy was sitting at the head of the table to my left next to me. And we were all just talking. Then the guy and I were talking about something and we can't really hear each other or he gets really interested in a topic and he leans in closer to me. We talk and he is talking about something and he moves his hand towards mine and the tips of his fingers barely touch mine and in midsentence he stops and he has this (O_O) look on his face and I am like "Yes?" just waiting for him to continue talking and he starts to talk again but he is still distracted by his fingers touching mine. Then he moves his hand and sits back and stops talking to me.

So I go back to talking to the lady infront of me. And some time passes and the guy gets up I think to go talk to his sister or something and then the lady infront of me leans forward and whispers "He likes you!" and I am like "Wha?? (O_O)" and she just smiled and nodded her head and he comes back and I just kind of look away. Then everyone leaves and I am in my editing classroom kind of and I am laying on the floor watching some movie on tv. And the guy goes and sits in his normal chair and mentions something about me watching the movie in class even after the quarter being over or something and that same lady from earlier was like "Can't you go home and watch it?" and she was laughing and I was like "No, cause by the time I get home the movie will be over"

And she was like "What??" and she disappears and then the guy asks me how I get home and I say I take about "3 - 4 busses to get home", (it doesn't take 4 it's only 3 haha), and he was like "What? No, it's all about.." something about money and then it gets all fuzzy and I wake up.. haha I was like "WTF?!?!"

Then I check my e-mail and I finally have a responce from him.. I was like "O-K I am getting away from this thing now..." lol

So if anyone can tell me what that meant feel free to let me know.. thanks hahaha.

Books That I Want!

2007-03-27T23:15:00.001-07:00

Here are some titles of books that I want:

Love Is A Mix Tape: Life And Loss, One Song At A Time by Rob Sheffield
Cupcake by Rachel Cohn
Stuart: A Life Backwards by Alexander Masters
Everything I’m Cracked Up To Be: A Rock & Roll Fairy Tale by Jen Trynin
Impulse by Ellen Hopkins

Books, socks and scrapbooking stuff are my addictions... I'm gonna be broke.. hahaha.

night!

Hugs Are The Best

2007-03-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

When a guy you like or have a crush on gives you an unexpected hug it feels really good. Today he made me the happiest chick alive. :D That is all folks!

Aww Factor Quote

2007-03-26T12:05:00.000-07:00

I am in a weird place right now. It is really, really depressingly hard to even pretend that you can be a normal guy and have a normal relationship right now. Not many people can relate to the attention and lifestyle I have and I am in a place at the moment where I don't know if I am going to be able to be famous and have a normal relationship or be a normal boyfriend. That is really scary to me, as even though I am a musician and that is a massive part of my life, there is a part of me that is loyalty-driven. I want to be a boyfriend, I want to be a husband, I want to be a dad. I want those things. Badly. - Patrick.

Jeff, You're A Pioneer of Paranoia...

2007-03-22T20:01:00.001-07:00

So, I was watching the clips I had on youtube and I just wanted to share this one with you all.

hehe. I love Coupling. That show was awesome. I was also watching a video blog that I subscribed to and it got me thinking of starting my own video blog. I am still not sure about it yet cause well... I am more of a behind the camera person and I really like to just get everything out in writing. I highly doubt my videos would be as popular as hers. But, still the thought of my face being put out there.. eeeee.

So, I finally finished all my stinking papers. WEE!!! Not time to party yet I am afraid. I still have two more finals to do next week. ::sighs:: But it should be interesting. So, myspace isn't working on Safari on this computer for some reason and that really ticks me off haha. So I guess Firefox will have to do. One thing I noticed, and I happen to like, is that on here it tells me when I have a spelling error haha. For some reason that makes me all happy. I am just waiting for Marina to get out of class in oh about 2 hours.. So hungry.. Denny's!!!!! :D Well, I think this will be a short one for now cause well it just will be. Haha. Take care!

Tell It To Move, Feel Like Climbing The Walls

2007-03-21T10:20:00.000-07:00

Hey! So, I finally have some spare time to write a decent blog. Once again, I am sorry for the one liner ones. I have been swamped with school work that really had to get done and not to mention I was dead tired.

So I was listening to the stream of Vena Sera and there is one part in the song I Get It that really stood out to me and is something I feel everyone should ask themselves in life. Here it is:

"Do you want it enough? Do you want it at all? Should you need it at all, takes a man to see, do you want it enough? Do you want it at all? Should you need it all, do you want it enough?"

Why do I think everyone should ask themselves that? Well, in this short short life of ours you have to determine what it is you really want. Are the things you are doing at this moment what you want to be doing? Are you where you want to be? Is there something that you really want? Ask yourself "Do you want it enough?", you'll soon begin to see just what matters and what you really want. You only live once so why not make it really count?

For me those lines stood out and I started thinking, Am I doing what I want? Do I really want to go into the field of writing? The answer is yes, I worked my butt off not to just give up now. I honestly don't care if I never make it rich or have people know my name all over the world. As long as I am doing some sort of writing I will be the happiest person in the world. If I can make some sort of living doing what I truely love then I have been successful. Cause I know I don't want to be a cashier at Wal-Mart the rest of my life. No offense to that place but it's not my passion. I'd rather create stories of people being assholes and have the cashier have their revenge on them than me have to experience that first hand, only without the revenge part.. Although, that would make work a lot more interesting. Muahaha.

So today is the last day of class for Editing and Post-production II and Audio II. I am saddend cause I really liked those classes this quarter. Another reason I am sad cause that means I'll have to start my final quarter here at school. Scary thought... EEP! Tons of work ahead of me and I think I am gonna just dive in. Take care folks!

Shortness

2007-03-20T22:17:00.001-07:00

Yea sorry another short one. I have a lot of work to do.

Ahh!

2007-03-19T22:07:00.001-07:00

Will give a better update of today tomorrow... ::sleeps::

I Hate You... Not Really

2007-03-18T23:02:00.001-07:00

I know.. I am procrastinating on homework... I will get to it I swear.. Cause... Cause well, I have to. Boo to that! So yea, I ended up having to change one of the movies I chose for the paper I need to write. Cause, stupid me failed to notice that it was edited by 4 editors! Errrr... So I watched another one instead. It had a variety of differences though. Should be an interesting paper to do.. To say the least.

Ever see something that you wish you hadn't? I did.. Last night and that is all I will say haha. I wanted to gouge my eyes out... hahaha.

Well I think that will be all. I need to get started on that paper.. errrrr.

p.s. for my records:

http://www.sendspace.com/file/1li5t9

Daily Post 1.0

2007-03-17T22:44:00.000-07:00

Hola people.

Today was a meh day. I had to go into work at 7:30am and I worked until 4:30pm. If you ask me it felt like a lot longer. When you are in my line of work you deal with alot of assholes. And well, today I have had enough. I stopped being too nice and stood my ground. It felt great and well it sucks I had to do it when I was over my frustration level. Ehh.

So, St. Patricks day was just ehh for me. Got a ton of Chevelle news. Which makes me happy. Speaking of new Chevelle check out Samuel Loeffler's new bass drum head:

Photo Courtesy of Sooner my favorite lighting girl :D

I thought that was hilarious.. hehehe.

That's all for now cause I am about to do some work.. or not.. ;D

Aww

2007-03-16T23:25:00.001-07:00

Today I was thinking about this one little boy that I was helping while at work just before Valentine's day. Here is what went down:

::I am ringing up all his little valentine stuff and he looks at me and I smile::

Boy: I'm in looooooooovvvveeeee. ::sighs::
Me: Aww
Boy: Her name is Kristina and I am gonna give this to her on Valentines day. ::points to all the stuff he is buying::
Me: That's sweet!

::His mom laughs and lets him pay for his stuff::

His Mom: He's going to give that to this older girl he knows at school.
Me: Awww.

I am not sure why I was thinking about that today but as I was monitoring self-checkouts and then guess who I saw! That little boy and his mom. That made my day. That's all. Take care people!

Memories

2007-03-15T21:25:00.001-07:00

I was just thinking of someone today. It's funny how one or a couple of memories can stand out so much in one person's mind but there is little chance that the other person will even remember it.

I remember I was at school and I had just left the financial aid office and I was texting my sister Connie a quote from this show Metalocolypse and I was so focused on the text and I was laughing that I didn't notice the guy I was about to bump into. I luckily catchy myself and stop just before we bump. I am still laughing at the text but laughing more cause of what almost happened. I apologize and I actually made him laugh and smile at me. Now, this guy hadn't smiled at me once since I first met him and I was convinced he hated me. But when he laughed that day it was nice. He accepted my apology and I held open the door to the open for him cause he had to drag a lot of stuff to his class. He thanked me and we went our separate ways.

With that memory it makes me smile but I doubt he even remembers that event even taking place. I guess it's just little events that happen that just spark some good memories. I feel that once I leave I will be forgotten and no one will remember the girl who always arrived early with her headphones on at school. ::sighs::

Time to go. Take care!

WEE!

2007-03-15T13:40:00.001-07:00

I just got the soundtrack for the movie 300. :D x 1,000,000,000. Words cannot explain just how excited I am to have finally got my hands on it. For me, everything in that movie worked but the music.. The music just made the movie over the top. So may argue that the movie lacked a proper story.. But I say.. That is what the narration is for. Anyway back to the post.

So I was looking at my myspace earlier and under where it says education it says High school. It all of a sudden hit me that in the next few months that is going to change to college. That is a bit freaky cause I was not expecting to be out so soon. Life moves fast and you have to slow it down a bit people. Before you know it you're on your death bed. EEP!

So, I am avoiding doing my math homework at the moment cause well I don't want to do it. Matt told me to check out this band Fishbone and I did that this morning. They are pretty cool. I like ska :D. Let's see what other randomness I can put.. HmMm.. Oh, I had to buy earphones from school today cause the ones I had went dead and we all know I can't live without my music! They have good sound but the only thing is they hurt my ears after a while and they are bulky. I haven't really been doing much just catching up on the latest blog from John August's blog. So I shall end this here cause I don't know what else to say. BYE!

My Back, Legs and Stomach Hate Me

2007-03-14T11:40:00.000-07:00

I have over worked my legs and my back... So now they are so sore! But yea, I went over my notes from yesterday that I took during the movie 300.. Well, I think I need to see it again to take more notes ;) lol. But seriously, I think I should. There weren't many notes but the ones I did have were significant parts that could help me.

So Vena Sera leaked.. A bit saddened but at the same time I hope it creates more exposure for the album. What else to write about HmMm... Oh yea, I just found out that the actor who played King Leonidas in 300 also played The Phantom in The Phantom of the Opera. I knew he looked familiar and I knew there was a reason why I liked him. lol. In case you all didn't already know his name is Gerard Butler check him out. I think that is all for the time being. Take care people. Enjoy this lovely little photo:

300

2007-03-13T21:32:00.001-07:00

Ok so I saw 300 finally... I LOVED it! I was afraid I wasn't going to like the gore or that it was going to be overhyped for me.. But it was fantastic! :D I plan on seeing it again. I took down a few notes but to see it again couldn't hurt. ;) lol.

My legs and back officially hate me today.. So much so that they have conspired with my stomach.. haha. On the way back from the theatre I got off on the wrong stop so I had to do a mad rush walk to school for my last class and then I walked up the stairs.. Not cool... haha. My back pack is heavy and stuff so my back is like "I hate you!" haha

But yea, I can't really pull out what exactly I liked about 300 but.. For sure that soundtrack was awesome! I am going to buy that for sure. What did I tell you, great year for music. haha. I think that will be all for the moment. Take care!

So When You're Near Me Darling, Can't You Hear Me. SOS.

2007-03-13T09:45:00.000-07:00

I am sitting here listening to my beloved ABBA and I am blowing my nose. Funny how I look like I am crying but all I am doing is blowing my nose.

I bought my ticket to see 300 today. From what I have heard it is supposed to be a good film and really gorey... I don't like gore too much so we'll see how I take it today. I shall "blog" about my first experience going to the movies alone and how I liked or did not like the movie. I am pretty sure I am gonna like it I usually do.

Let's see what else to talk about before I head of to the lovely math class... bah! So, for my audio 2 class our final is... Whatever we want.. We just have to DAZZEL him. WTF?!? I know he wants us to be more artistic and stuff but seriously.. That opens a whole wide range of a variety of things I could do and I have no idea what to do. I figured I'd do a sound collage.. Since he said is has to be something involved with sound.. So I am going to make this one sound WAY better than my last one. I'll add in my own special effects and stuff outside of class since I can't seem to figure out how to do it on Pro-Tools in class. I know it can be done I just don't have the patience or the time to be looking for it. So, audacity here I come!

As for my editing 2 final, Nathan said I was almost done... I need to work on the pacing a bit and then change this one jump cut... So frustrating. ::sighs:: It's weird how I have been posting pretty much everyday. I hope I can keep it up. I hate when I don't post anything for weeks. Well, I have to go to math now.. Oh joy... psh.. Take care!

To Hear Playlist

2007-03-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

Here ya go

data="http://www.profilelist.net/mc/mp3player-othersite.swf?config=http://www.profilelist.net/mc/config/config_green_shuffle.xml&mywidth=435&myheight=270&playlist_url=http://www.profilelist.net/loadplaylist.php?playlist=4295486">

value="http://www.profilelist.net/mc/mp3player-othersite.swf?config=http://www.profilelist.net/mc/config/config_green_shuffle.xml&mywidth=435&myheight=270&playlist_url=http://www.profilelist.net/loadplaylist.php?playlist=4295486">

UGH

2007-03-12T10:58:00.000-07:00

I had to post my list on another post so here ya go:

Playlist

1. Anti-Saint - Chevelle
2. Well Enough Alone - Chevelle
3. Thnks Fr Th Mmrs - Fall Out Boy
4. Grand Theft Autumn (Where Is Your Boy) - Fall Out Boy
5. Chicago Is So Two Years Ago - Fall Out Boy
6. Snitches and Talkers Get Stitches and Walkers - Fall Out Boy
7. Open - Chevelle
8. Get Some - Chevelle
9. Woman - Wolfmother
10. Everything's Just Wonderful - Lily Allen
11. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
12. My Hero - Foo Fighters
13. Everlong - Foo Fighters
14. Darling Nikki - Foo Fighters
15. Date With The Night - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
16. Maps - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
17. Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana
18. Rape Me - Nirvana
19. Cupid's Chokechold - Gym Class Heroes
20. Clothes Off! - Gym Class Heroes
21. Take Off Your Clothes - Morningwood
22. Passive - A Perfect Circle
23. Save The Last Dance For Me - Michael Buble
24. Techno Syndrome (Mortal Kombat) - The Immortals
25. Here In Your Arms - Hellogoodbye
26. Look After you - The Fray
27. Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
28. Defying Gravity - Wicked
29. Famous Last Words - My Chemical Romance
30. Piece By Piece - Strata
31. Never There - Strata
32. Little Sister - Queens of the Stone Age
33. No One Knows - Queens of the Stone Age
34. Broken Box - Queens of the Stone Age
35. Cocaine (We're All Going To Hell) - Strata
36. Calling - Taproot
37. Birthday - Taproot
38. Eye Of The Tiger - Survivor
39. Every Breath You Take - The Police
40. Walk Like An Egyptian - The Bangles
41. Nothing Compares 2 U - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
42. Wild World - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
43. Stand By Your Man - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
44. Science Fiction Double Feature - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
45. Phantom of the Opera - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
46. Who Put The Bomp - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
47. End of the Road - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
48. Goodbye Earl - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
49. She Believes In Me - Me First and the Gimme Gimmes
50. Fernando - Abba
51. SOS - Abba
52. Chiquitita - Abba
53. Dancing Queen - A-Teens
54. Disposable Teens - Marilyn Manson
55. (s)AINT - Marilyn Manson
56. Count On Me - Default
57. Deny - Default
58. It Only Hurts - Default
59. Foolin' - Def Leppard
60. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard
61. Liar (It Takes Two) - Taking Back Sunday
62. Ex-Girlfriend - No Doubt
63. Don't Speak - No Doubt
64. Just A Girl - No Doubt
65. Riot - The Sounds
66. Fire - The Sounds
67. Dance With Me - The Sounds
68. Living In America - The Sounds
69. Snakes on a Plane (Bring It!) - Cobra Starship
70. Here It Goes Again - OK Go
71. Do What You Want - OK Go
72. Walk Idiot Walk - The Hives
73. Two Timing Touch & Broken Bones - The Hives
74. Hate To Say I Told You So - The Hives
75. Die, All Right! - The Hives

75 Spots All Filled

2007-03-12T10:06:00.000-07:00

Well hello there folks,

I know, I have been posting some rather useless blogs. But, are my blogs really that moving anyway? haha. I was not feeling too good yesterday. In fact, I still feel blah. I do feel a little bit better but still.. blah. I never got around to seeing 300 this weekend. Which stinks cause that means I have to see it on Tuesday all by my lonesome during my four hour break between classes. It has to be done. I think it's a little amusing picturing me in the dark theatre taking notes on the editing.

::movie is playing::
Me: ::writes:: Uses lots of.. Wait.. What?? Damn.. Can you rewind please?
Audience: SHHHHH!!!
Me: Sorry....

Yea, I have an over active imagenation. It's what gets me through the day haha. It doesn't take too much to amuse me. Now one to the reason I am posting WOO!

Ok, so you know how a simple song can spark so many memories or just a particular one? Well, yesterday I discovered on my friend Corryn's myspace page that she had a playlist and I thought that was so cool. So I stole the idea from her, I let her know of course :D, and made my own. On each playlist you get a total of 75 songs. I filled each and every spot with a song. So I decided to post my list and if anyone is interested in knowing the story behind them they can comment and I'd love to share. So let's get this party started woo!!

BAH!

2007-03-11T20:30:00.001-07:00

Not much to report other than I am sick.. Bah!

ZzZzZz

2007-03-10T20:50:00.001-08:00

Too tired to write something meaningful but Well yea.. haha. Still need to see 300 bah! But I got Outbreak in the mail I may go watch that now. BYE!

WOO!!!

2007-03-09T22:47:00.001-08:00

WOOP WOOP! I bought the Spin Magazine with FOB on the cover, I bought two CDs of theirs and I also pre-ordered my copy of Chevelle's Vena Sera. WEEE. I can't wait! To top it off... They are shooting the video for Well Enough Alone out in Los Angeles on March 15th.. WEEEEEE. Must head to the shower.. Night!

Hey, Hey! She Don't Like Cocaine,...

2007-03-08T12:32:00.000-08:00

...baby just likes how it smells says maybe you can drive me home if you want. ::dances::

I am really liking the song Cocaine (We're All Going To Hell) by Strata. I know this song was released LONG ago but I never really had time to check it out. Now that I have, I really want to get their new album... But alas, it is not coming out until May... But this only confirms that this year is going to be one hell of a awesome year for music. That makes my total upcoming CD count up to 3. I am sure that number will grow as I discover more music.

I got an e-mail from the Lollapalooza site and they had a secret sale for 3-day passes for $60! That is a damn good deal! But, the line-up isn't even up yet so... Looks like it was good I wasn't able to get my pass just yet. Sucks I have to pay more but still I kind of want to know who is playing. Hopefully they listen to some of my suggestions.. hahaha.

So, I have to see the movie 300 this weekend for my midterm paper. It was shot like Sin City so maybe it will be very interesting since I liked Sin City. I have to watch the movie Outbreak too. Which I really don't mind because I really enjoy that movie.

I thought I had more to write about but I don't.. haha. YAY tonight is Denny's night. WOOP WOOP. Tuesday's Denny's night was.. Well it was a riot haha. hehehe... Take care people..

RUN, HIDE!, muahaha

P.S. Oh and if you want to see the video for Cocaine (We're All Going To Hell) here is the link:

Cocaine (We're All Going To Hell) - Strata Leave them comments. I am sure they will appreciate it very much. Take care! :D