The Cherry Blossom

I have finally found my favorite flower.

I was online speaking with someone who I have been getting to know over the past few months. I have written about him once before here but I have never mentioned his name. So I won’t. I will however call him the Blue Rose.

So I was speaking with the Blue Rose and he was telling me how he wants to look up how to send a message with flowers. That moved on to him asking me what my favorite flower was. All I could tell him was ‘you know what? I have been asking myself that for years now.’ So, I think about it and I decide to say White Cherry Blossoms because I think they are really pretty and my friends Ky and Kate gave me a lotion and body spray set of White Cherry Blossoms and it is one of the prettiest scents I have ever had the pleasure of smelling.

As we continued to chat I decided to look up the meaning of the flower and based on it’s meaning I have found myself a favorite flower. What is the meaning you ask? It is simple:

‘The cherry blossom was considered an especially beautiful and important symbol for Japanese samurai because at the height of its beauty it would inevitably fall to the ground to die. Samurai also had to be willing to sacrifice themselves in their prime, and the cherry blossom was evidence that this is the natural way of things and could even be beautiful and pure. Life is as delicate and light as the falling petals, and there is a natural time for all beautiful things to end. The samurai strove to understand the nature of life and death by meditating on the blossom of the cherry tree. This peace was tempered by the inner strength, power, and fighting spirit represented by the circle of red. Through the study of attack and defense in Judo we learn to harmonize our spirit and body, learning to both fight hard and let go softly.’ - http://www.judoinfo.com/kdk.htm

I just put the whole thing because I couldn’t have said it better myself. Every time I try to explain the meaning I mess up. But that just explains it all right there. It has given me a whole new look on things. I’d like to think that it would inspire me to do a lot more with my life.

So there you have it. The cherry blossom, its beauty and grace is something that I would like to compare myself to. To soon see the beauty in myself and well as my grace. One should always have a favorite flower. You never know what it may mean or what it may have in store for you.

Confessions Of A Cashier Pt. 2

The events of today inspired me to make a second edition.

Some of you may have read my first Confessions. If not, you can now. Please, read that first before reading this one.

Ok, for those of you who have read the first one, here is my addition to the confessions.

I arrive at work to see the grocery side entrance surrounded by fire trucks and an ambulance. This was very surprising to me and so I hoped that nothing was seriously wrong at work. I walk in the other entrance and I hear someone shout out “GENEVA!” I turn and look to see one of the CSM’s calling me over. I rush over to her and I see her attention is to this elderly man. The next words I hear are ‘This man is having a heart attack.’ All of a sudden I became as stiff as a board. “He is what??” was all I could think.

The next thing I know the man is speaking about his medication. Turns out he left it in his car. The CSM is talking to the man and calls me closer. He starts to describe where his medication would be in his car. ‘It’s in the center console. It is nitroglycerine.’ I see him take out his keys and the next thing I know the CSM is telling him that I am going to be the one to get his medication for him. “I am what?” could she be serious? Can I handle that responsibility? I take the keys and after hearing his description I rush out the door to find his car.

Once I get to his car I press the security lock to make sure the alarm would not go off on me. There is nothing more awkward then going through some strangers car looking for medication. I open the center console, move the papers and I find: a toy car, dimes, and some golf thingies. What? No medication? But the man said it was there. I look again. And again. And again once more. Nothing. No pill bottle, nothing. I move on to the glove compartment. Nope, just the normal paperwork that is to be expected in the glove compartment. I look in the back seat and find nothing. I see a bag on the passenger front seat. This has to be it! Nope, nothing. How can this man be so sure his medications are in there if they are not! I lock up his car and I rush back inside. I see the paramedics surrounding him and I tell the assistant managers that I could not find his medications and I gave them his car keys. The paramedics assured me that they had everything under control.

Once that little debacle was taken care of I rushed to the back to clock in. After all that I had not even clocked in yet! I was a minute late. Damn it! I rush to the front end to see lines, long horrendous lines. I wanted to turn around and hide or even just run away. Once I reach the front there are no CSMs at the CSM podium. So I go and look for one. Right away one finds me and sticks me on a register. All I have to say about today is that that line I worked with didn’t end until after I clocked out from work. Why on earth was it so busy today? I have no clue and I can’t describe just how bad it was. It was just bad. The most interesting stuff happened as I showed up. My arms hurt and my hands are scraped up from working with the register. Yes folks, your merchandise does in fact inflict injury to us cashiers. The number of bruises, nicks and cuts I got this weekend are innumerable. Overall, this weekend the customers were not so bad and I thank thee. I am off to ice my wounds from today’s battle. Nighty night!

- Cashier Geneva

p.s. The reason the fire trucks were there originally was because a little boy had a seizure in the store.

The Nice Guy

A little something about a really nice guy I once knew.

I have written about him in my It’s All In The Smile. He was my version of falling in love. He just came back into my thoughts again and I couldn’t help but wonder some things about him.

For six months straight he was in my life, half a year folks. He often spoke about how he was always taken advantage of because he was too nice. I saw how some people took advantage of just how lenient he was with them. He wasn’t a demanding guy; all he asked for was his students to do the work. The work was not difficult to say the least.

I loved going to his class because he always had some kind of life lesson to teach us. If wasn’t a life lesson it was a discussion of food. Eventually with all the talks of food we all got hungry. He was kind enough to go out and buy us drinks or food for us. He had a ton of different projects going on in his life and it really wore him out. But, he was working towards a dream that he had for himself and there is nothing to be ashamed of for that. The thought of just how hard he was working just makes me aspire to get to the point to where I am determined more than ever to work for my dream.

He knew some much about music and his own theories on different topics. When he would bring in his bass in class and play it for us, I was drawn in. I loved watching him play because I can see the passion flow right through him into the music. He was always very modest about his skill but I thought he was great.

He was the type of guy that just got along with everyone. It was very difficult not to get along with the man. As I have mentioned before, he has one amazing smile. The kind you just have to smile back to. He had a boyish nature to him. It was playful and full of life. It made you want to go back to having that energy and how the world was such a wonderful place. Going back on some old audio files I had for a project I did for his class I listen to him laugh. It is a sweet and very likeable laugh.

The times that we shared were we talked will forever be ingrained in my mind. I miss those times we would converse. I knew that after I left school that he would be someone that I would grow to miss more as time passed on. Six months of my life he made my day. For six months he made me smile and for each time we saw each other I have a memory that I can write about. I wonder where he is now, what is he up to? How is he doing? I wish him nothing but the best in the world because he truly deserves nothing but the best in this world.

I started to think about him again last night after I went to a book reading/signing. The author is from Pasadena, a place where he grew up, and one of her characters in the book she was reading from reminded me of him. Thanks to the man who enlightened not only my life but the lives of all his students that he has touched. I shall miss you always.

Introductions

Getting to know someone new can be interesting…

My sisters first introduced me to you. I took a glance at your ‘About Me’ on the site. My lovely, darling sisters are sure you are the one for me.

I see you like to read, well I don’t think like quite describes it. You read quite a bit and I really like that. You travel, well what do you know? I have just started my interest in traveling. Maybe you and I can discuss what places I can visit. Everything that was written on that about me was something I liked. Finally when curiosity bit me I managed to see your photo and well it matches the words you have written completely.

The two things I notice first in people are the eyes and the smile. It’s important for me to get a feeling from those two things. Your eyes put me at ease and they show kindness. Your smile is warm and inviting, you give me no other option but to smile back.

You initiated the start of the communication, the very one my sisters wanted me to choose. You asked me five simple questions to which I answered. I sent you five simple questions that you answered. Guided communication, it’s a pretty safe way to move things forward. You now know my must haves and can’t stands and I know yours. Next came the three questions. I am slowly letting you get to know me and I getting to know you. Can we get past this guided communication thing now?

There is so much more I’d like to get to know. I cannot remember the last time I checked my e-mails so much to see if you responded. The three questions I sent, your answers were just divine. You showed you had humor and romance. I loved how you have goals and are passionate about them.

It was like a little celebration when we got to open communication. But, alas like the others before I await your response. Time isn’t going so fast anymore and I like that. Thank you for making me wait, thank you for making me take in the time. I hope all is well on your end and I do enjoy getting to know you more.

Rain

You and I have much catching to do!

I miss your cool, gentle touch. Blowing sweet nothings into my ear and giving me fresh kisses. I long to take an extended stroll with you. Just to get lost in you and feel free again.

You make me feel ok. You wash away every thing that troubles me and you make me brand new. I have missed being comforted by you. I rarely get to see you except on the occasional visit you have with Thunder and Lightning, whom you know I dislike! Or you come out when I am simply not available. Have I done something to offend you?

Do you remember when we danced? I remember when you came to visit me on my way home from school. It was the last day of the quarter and to be quite honest, I was feeling pretty low. But, you came full swing and rinsed away my apprehensions. You were there for me when I needed you in Oklahoma and I thank you for that.

I finally got to have a small visit with you today. Though, our visit was entirely way too short. I can still smell you on my clothes and I do hope you stick around for a while. I need some cleansing from you. I miss you my friend. May we twirl or have a long walk together.

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Thanks riceflour for the inspiration to write this.

I Fainted...

What a couple of days can do to a person.

Monday I started to feel stomach cramps and I noticed that I had the liquid poo syndrome, also known as Diarrhea. So, I ate a banana and took some Immodium.

After my baby cousins left I was now stuck lying on the couch because of the pain I was having in my stomach. I was watching the Santa Claus with my mother when I feel the sudden urge to gag. Gagging turned into vomiting and I threw up all of the contents that I had that day. Water and a banana, probably some stomach acid too but it didn’t burn coming out like it usually does. My mother made me some Ginger tea and I lied there falling in and out of sleep. My sister Janice and her boyfriend bought me a 20 oz bottle of 7-Up. That helped my stomach settle much better than the tea or water I had been drinking.

I ended up spending the night on the couch and not in my comfy bed. I started my shift in watching my baby cousins. It was a typical day only my legs hurt as well as my lower back, I blame the couch, and the continued nausea. I had not eaten anything and even when I made the babies their food I still did not eat. Later that day baby Becca decided that she no longer wanted in her playpen and she put her little legs over and went face first to the tile floor below. I rushed to her and picked her screaming body up. Her mouth was covered in blood and I went to the kitchen and started to wet paper towels to wipe away the blood. My sister Connie comes out of the room and once she sees the bloods around Becca’s mouth she starts freaking out. I am trying to hold Becca and get her to bite down on the paper towel and yet still keep my sister calm.

My arm is now tired from holding little Becca and I hand her off to Connie. My head suddenly becomes light and fuzzy. I feel out of breath and I grab on to the stove to catch my breath and then everything goes black. Apparently I fell into my sister and she grabbed me and I told her, “What are you doing, I am fine?” and I remember her saying something like “No you’re not!” and then, this is the fall I remember, I fell on my ass on the tile floor in the kitchen taking down my sister as she is hold poor baby Becca. At this point there is no claming down my sister and she is screaming bloody murder for my sister Janice to come out of the shower and to help her out. Now, I feel fine and I want to get up but Connie insists that I stay seated and she rushes to the bathroom with Becca in her arms and bangs on the door continuously screaming, “Janice get out here now! This is serious!” Once she and Janice have their share of words she comes back and gives me a piece of bread and a bottle of water. She calls our aunt and tries to get advice as to what to do next. She felt I was fine to get up and go to the couch she insisted I at least put one arm around her as I get moved back to the dreaded couch. Once my sister Janice gets out of the bathroom she insists I have to eat something and makes me soup. Her boyfriend comes and gets me another 20oz of 7-Up.

My aunt comes over and has a look at me and she says I looked fine but if I fainted again to see the doctor. Even if I faint a week later, and that she thinks the main reason why I fainted was cause of the stress of Becca screaming in my ear and seeing the blood. She explained to me what causes people to faint and things of that nature. Needless to say my family made sure I ate that day.

Then comes today, I decided that last night I would sleep in my own bed and not on that damned couch. Only to wake at 4am coughing my brains out because I was congested in my chest once more. Not only was I waking up Connie, but also my stomach was not getting upset so I decide to move back to the couch. My mother thinks I have developed an allergy to Connie’s cat. She suggests I try one more night on the couch. All day my stomach felt tight but I made sure to eat something and my sisters made sure I ate as well. Now, this evening my throat is really bugging me and my voice is scratchy. So Janice made me some tea. This is what being sick has caused me over the course of three days. If it’s not one thing it is another.

So, that is the reason why I haven’t been writing lately and once I get the time to not be sick I will continue with my little vampire series. Evening all!

Don’t Try To Fix Me I’m Not Broken

That is mostly true.

Have you ever heard a song that just brings out all kinds of emotions? Well, for me at the moment that song is Hello by the band Evanescence.

I was looking through an old hard-drive of mine and I was listening to the songs that were on there and I came across that song and it brought back a lot of memories and now it pretty much fits with my current emotions.

When I first listened to this song I was writing a feature screenplay for school. The overall tone of the story was dark and depressing and I needed some sad music to get me to that place. For me that song was one of many songs that hit the spot. It helped me accomplish my goal of writing the script. I didn’t actually have anything really to be depressed about.

Now that I am listening to the song again about two years or so later, I have something to feel depressed about. With the holidays coming up they don’t seem to be as jolly as they once were. I myself am getting tired of the rush of emotions that I go through. One moment I am fine and then the next the simple thought or memory can spark my mood to do a sudden change and then I wipe away tears. But, honestly you have you let the emotions do their things. If you try and bottle them up they will be released somehow and I really think it’s not good to hold them in. So as much as I am frustrated with them I just have to let them take their course.

There is one line in the song that I think will pretty much fit how I will be over the holidays and such. The line is “If I smile and don’t believe.” The amount of forced smiles I will be doing just describes it perfectly. I think that will be all for now. Take care people!

P.S. Chelle, I went to Disneyland on Tuesday and I told my friend about how you killed Pooh and every time we saw Pooh there we just laughed. It was one of the things that made our day so fun. Thanks for sharing that story again!